Not so Predicatable
by Berserker88
Summary: Sly 4 AU. After his fateful battle with Le Paradox, Sly wakes up to discover that he is now trapped in ancient Egypt. It's a dire situation, but one that he might just be able to handle. That is, if Le Paradox weren't trapped WITH him.
1. Stranded

_Screw it, I'm starting this now. I'm sick of putting it off. _

_Now for some background. I only just recently got into the Sly Cooper series with the fourth game, "Thieves in Time". I absolutely loved it, along with its main villain Cyrille Le Paradox. So imagine my surprise when I find out that there are barely any stories about the guy. (He isn't even in the character filter!) __I felt that needed to change, and so I made a story about him and Sly. _

_Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 1: Stranded

The first thing Sly Cooper saw as he regained consciousness was his trusty cane lying on the ground in front of him. He gripped the cane in his gloved paw and slowly sat himself up, squinting as bright sunlight assaulted him. As soon as his eyes adjusted enough for him to see, they widened in shock.

The remains of Le Paradox's blimp was lying in pieces all around him, but that wasn't what caught his attention. Behind the wreckage, he saw a large temple decorated with an Anubis head, along with some smaller pyramids. He quickly realized that the massive time portal Le Paradox had opened during their final battle must have thrown him into Ancient Egypt. And given the current state of the blimp, he was going to be here for quite some time. Even though he knew it would be useless, he pulled out his binocucom and attempted to contact Bentley. Sure enough, he got no signal. At least the device was still functional.

With little else to do, Sly decided to take a look around. He was a bit sore from the crash landing, so he had to use his cane to prop himself up. The tool wasn't intended to be used as a walking stick, but it served that purpose well.

He just started to head towards the wreckage when a foul stench stopped him in his tracks. Sly clamped a paw over his nose and gagged. As he recovered from that unpleasant surprise, he noticed that the stench seemed familiar. Reluctantly, he uncovered his nose and sniffed again. Yes, he had definitely smelled this before. Very recently too. _It couldn't be..._

Sly looked frantically around the area. In this sea of sand, it didn't take long for him to spot a flash of black and white poking out from behind one of the blimp's fallen wings. He walked over and hesitantly peeked behind the wing, finding the unconscious form of Cyrille Le Paradox waiting for him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Sly muttered. The last he'd seen of the skunk, he was falling off his blimp towards the waters of Paris. The fact that he had somehow ended up getting sucked into the time portal with him was a sure sign that luck was not on his side. He was sorely tempted to walk away and leave him to die, especially after what happened the last time he tried to save him, but he couldn't do it. He was better than that. He was better than _him._

As he looked down at Le Paradox again, he noticed something else sticking out of the sand next to him. He grabbed the object and yanked it out. It was the rapier the skunk had used during their duel. Sly immediately attached the rapier to his belt. Unconscious or not, he wasn't letting him anywhere near that thing. He hoisted Le Paradox over his shoulder, trying to ignore his stench, and set off towards the large temple. It wasn't the most ideal place to hide out in, but he didn't have much of a choice. It would soon be nighttime and they needed shelter from the harsh desert winds.

Inside the temple, Sly found a spacious room lit up by torches and lined with a set of stone columns. He sat Le Paradox down in front of one of the columns and used some spare rope to tie his wrists together behind it. Now that his skunk problem was solved for the moment, he took the time to explore the rest of temple. Even in his current situation, he felt compelled to look for treasure.

As he searched around, he soon discovered that the place had been completely abandoned. He couldn't find a single sign of life anywhere. That was probably for the best, since he wanted to keep a low profile for now. Unfortunately, he couldn't find any treasure either. The former inhabitants of this temple must have left and taken their goods with them.

Disappointed, Sly was about to return to the main room when Le Paradox's voice made him halt.

"Ungh...where...where am I? Why am I tied up?!"

Sly stayed outside the room for a moment, trying to figure out how he was going to handle this. Le Paradox hadn't seen him yet, so maybe he could find some sort of disguise and fool him. Make him think he was an Egyptian building inspector or something.

"Cooper! I know this is your doing! Untie me at once!"

So much for that.

Sly decided to just bite the bullet and head inside. He refused to be intimidated by him. Le Paradox saw him immediately and glared hatefully. "There you are, Cooper! Where are we?!" As he took notice of the current surroundings, he slowly pieced things together. "_When _are we?" he asked, a bit nervously.

"Ancient Egypt," Sly answered. "Couldn't tell you the exact date though. We didn't exactly get here through normal means."

"And...my blimp...?"

"Wrecked."

The skunk's eyes widened in horror. "Are you telling me that I am now stranded in the distant past...with _you?!" _

"Hey, you're not exactly my ideal roommate either," Sly said. "But it looks like we're stuck together for now, so I suggest you cooperate."

He scoffed. "Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'm leaving you on that column and going on my merry way."

"You won't."

"Excuse me?"

Le Paradox gave a smug grin. "Two times now you have had the opportunity to let me die, and two times now you have rescued me. As I keep saying, you are_ so _predic-OW!"

Sly smacked him with his cane. "And two times now you've been an ungrateful jerk!" The skunk was already starting to tick him off. Maybe he _should _just...

He got an idea. His anger subsided and he smiled at him in a deceptively calm manner. "Fine then. Have it your way." Without another word, Sly turned on his heel and left the temple.

He walked down the staircase in front of the entrance and headed around to the side, just far enough away for the skunk to neither see nor hear him, then pressed his ear against the wall and waited. Le Paradox was good at talking tough and making threats, but he was ultimately a coward. He had built his criminal empire mainly by getting other people to do his dirty work after all. The idea of being left completely on his own would terrify him.

And he was right. Not even a minute after he left, he heard Le Paradox start screaming after him. "Cooper, wait! Come back! I don't want to die! Please come back!"

Sly smirked._ Who's predictable now?_

He casually strolled back into the temple, still wearing his smirk. Le Paradox quickly wiped the panicked look off his face and tried to retain whatever dignity he could manage. "Alright, you win. What do you propose?"

Sly held out his cane and gestured around the area. "This temple is completely picked clean, and I doubt the pyramids nearby are any different. So I suggest we go looking for a town before we starve to death."

"_That's _your plan? Go wandering the desert like a pair of nomads? How do you know we'll find anything out there?"

"I don't." Le Paradox gaped at him. "Look, if you have a better plan, I'd love to hear it."

Le Paradox struggled to come up with something for a moment, but finally gave up. "Fine, we'll play it your way. Now untie me!"

Sly raised an eyebrow. Just how stupid did this guy think he was? "Uh...yeah, I don't think so. You can stay tied up for the night until I figure out what to do with you."

He hissed. "Well you had better figure it out fast, Cooper. The less time I have to spend in your presence, the better!"

"You and me both."

As the sun started to fall, Sly sat against a nearby wall and brought his cap down over his eyes, trying to get some sleep.

This was going to be a _long_ night...


	2. Setting Out

_Next chapter already. I've got the first few chapters mostly planned out, so they should be coming out pretty quickly. No promises though._

* * *

Chapter 2: Setting Out

"No! It's...it's gone! All gone!"

Sly rolled his eyes at the melodramatic display. He couldn't tell if Le Paradox was really this torn up about his destroyed blimp, or if he was just trying to make him feel sorry for him. Either way, it was getting old.

The skunk had been at this ever since Sly reluctantly decided to untie him this morning. He was tempted to leave his wrists bound for the duration of their time together (and he didn't even want to think about how long that would be), but decided that this would be a lot more trouble than it was worth. He was already prepared to head out, but Le Paradox insisted on digging through the wreckage of his blimp for anything of value. Not a bad idea, but did he have to put on such a show about it? "Yes, I get it. I blew up your blimp. Well, actually _you _did, or did you forget that part?"

Unsurprisingly, Le Paradox ignored him. Seeing nothing but junk in his own search, Sly took a peek over at his "partner" to see if he had found anything.

"Woah! What are you going to do with all that?!" The skunk had an entire pile of scrap gathered behind him, and he watched as he added one more piece to the collection.

Le Paradox groaned, as if it took him an immense amount of effort to answer. "If you _must _know, I'm gathering components so I can repair this thing."

"Repair the blimp?" Sly asked incredulously.

"No, you fool! Repair the time machine!"

Sly quirked his head to the side. "That...doesn't sound much more feasible. That thing was huge."

"Because it was designed to transport my entire blimp through the fabric of space and time. Your version was smaller because it only needed to be attached to your silly little van. Likewise, if it only needs to transport me-I mean _us-_then I could create an even smaller version that will do the job."

Sly noticed the slip-up, but chose to ignore it. "Uh-huh. And you think you can do that?"

He smiled. "Of course. I built the original model, didn't I?"

"No you didn't. Penelope did."

His smile vanished and he chucked a gear at his face, which he swiftly ducked. "Enough with the frivolous details! At least I'm actually trying to get back to the present instead of just trying to survive!" With that, he went back to his search.

Sly had to admit that the skunk had a point. There was a good reason why Bentley was the plan guy and not him. He was a lot better at thinking things through.

"I'm going to need some tools, though," Le Paradox muttered. "Maybe we can find some in this mystery town you think is out there."

Sly just turned his head away and huffed.

* * *

It was mid-morning by the time they finally set out. Le Paradox scooped all of the time machine components into a brown sack he found inside the temple, then almost immediately started complaining about how heavy it was. Sly elected to carry it instead, not because he actually fell for his blatant sympathy ploy, but because he trusted himself with it much more than he trusted Le Paradox. For that same reason, Sly refused to let him walk behind him, lest he manage to swipe his rapier and literally stab him in the back. Unfortunately, that also happened to put him downwind of the malodorous thief.

Though Sly lacked most of the Cooper Clan's advanced tools at the moment, he did at least have a compass on him to lead the pair north. Should night fall before they found a town, he knew that they could also follow Polaris, the north star. Despite what Le Paradox seemed to think, they were not helpless.

His mouth was starting to dry up and he licked his lips. _Could really use some water though. Direction or not, we need to find civilization soon or we're done for._

"Ugh. I can't take this obnoxious heat," Le Paradox whined, wiping his brow. "Now I remember why I hated Arabia so much."

Sly was feeling the heat too. His standard thieving outfit was not built for long treks through the desert and he was already sweating up a storm. He couldn't imagine that Le Paradox was faring much better with his aviator's outfit and abundance of black fur.

Some time had passed since they started their journey and there was still no sign of a town on the horizon, but distance was a difficult thing to judge in the middle of the desert, as was time for that matter. Nevertheless, the heat and lack of nourishment was rapidly taking a toll on both of them and Le Paradox was the first to crack. "That's it! I can't take this anymore! I am not going to die out here with you!"

Le Paradox suddenly whirled around and lunged at him. Delirious from thirst and occupied by the heavy sack, Sly's reflexes were not as quick as they should have been and he was tackled to the ground. He instantly went for his cane, expecting to engage in the world's most redundant fight to the death, but it was the sack Le Paradox was after and he ripped it from his paws. "Give me those components! I need to repair the time machine!"

Sly grabbed onto the edge of the sack and yanked both it and the skunk back towards him. "Now?! You don't have any tools and we're in the middle of the desert!"

Le Paradox pulled it back to him again. "Then I'll find something on my own, but I refuse to stomach your company any longer!"

In the midst of their tug-of-war, Sly's ear twitched as he heard something other than a screaming skunk. "Wait! Hold on a second!"

"No more waiting! I'm leaving and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Sly kicked Le Paradox's legs out from under him and reclaimed the sack, effectively proving him wrong. With this brief respite, Sly stood back up and listened as the sound continued to get louder and louder. By this point, Le Paradox heard it as well and was looking around in concern. "What...what is that?"

Sly put the binocucom up to his eyes and looked out over the horizon, focusing on a group of steadily approaching figures in the distance. "Sand cats. A bunch of them, coming right for us."

Le Paradox looked hopeful. "That's good, right? We're being rescued?"

Sly lowered the binocucom and wrapped his fingers tightly around his cane. "No, no we're not."

Before Le Paradox could respond, the party was upon them. A group of eight camels circled around the pair and surrounded them, each being ridden by an Egyptian sand cat. The felines did not look particularly happy to see them, and the swords and daggers attached to their belts left little question what they were here for. They were all female, though they wore clothing considerably less conservative than was normal for the time. All the more fitting for desert bandits.

The apparent leader of the bandits rode forward to greet them. She looked just a bit more intimidating than the rest, sporting a sinister grin and dark violet eyes. From her ears hung a pair of ankh earrings that swayed slowly as she spoke. "Quite a bizarre pair of travelers we have here, ladies. I don't think I've ever seen such strange clothing before."

"Oh yes," another replied. "And that big sack looks enticing as well. I wonder could be inside..."

Clearly, these bandits were under the impression that they were lugging around a load of gold and jewelry, and Sly sincerely doubted that correcting them would make this any better. "Sorry kitties, but these trinkets are mine." He swung his cane to his side threateningly.

"Oh really?" the leader replied, narrowing her violet eyes at him. The other sand cats were starting to reach for their weapons.

Le Paradox grew nervous about this turn of events, but he knew how to make the best out of a bad situation and extended his paw towards Sly. "My rapier, if you please."

Sly didn't even look at him. "No."

His eyes widened. "W-What?! How do you expect me to defend myself?!"

"You'll figure something out." In truth, he had no intention of letting Le Paradox be seriously hurt if he could help it, but he would rather worry about that than risk the (rather high) possibility that he would turn on him.

Sly didn't wait for the bandits to strike first. He shot forward, hooking his cane under the legs of the leader's camel and tipping the beast over. The feline gave an indignant yowl of alarm as she fell right along with it. The rest of the sand cats took this as the signal to attack and charged in at him. Sly's natural reflexes came back to him in the heat of the moment as he easily ducked and swerved around their swinging blades, tipping two more camels and their riders in the process.

The sand cats got the hint that this plan of attack wasn't working and dismounted to fight him on foot. The swords they wielded were not the kind he was used to, but curved sickle-swords known as the khopesh. The design of the khopesh was very similar to Sly's cane, a fact he would have found amusing were he not fighting for his life against them. He used his cane to block their swords, while pushing back and striking when he found an opening. Their individual fighting skills were no match for his own, but there was just enough of them that Sly couldn't afford to let up for a second.

Le Paradox was watching all of this, not quite sure who to root for, when two of the sand cats took notice of him and started closing in. He took a step back and gulped. "Uh...Cooper?"

Sly heard the call for help and it incited him to fight more aggressively. That could've easily backfired, but the sand cats surrounding him were taken by surprise and thrown off-guard. Sly spun his cane in a wide arc, taking out all of his attackers at once. With them dispatched, he ran over to help Le Paradox when a pair of swords came at him and he had to stop to block them. It was the bandit leader, now snarling angrily at him.

"So you have _two_ swords? I can see why you're the big shot," Sly taunted. The cat hissed and attacked again. She was noticeably more skilled than the others and Sly traded blows with her for a few moments as they passed by the brown sack lying on the ground. Sly took notice of the object and, as he pushed the feline back with one paw, he used the other to grab hold of the sack. By the time she recovered, it was too late to avoid the sack flying at her head and she was knocked out instantly.

Sly casually dusted off his paws and walked over to Le Paradox, having been able to tell for quite some time that he was no longer in danger. The skunk was turned away from him, breathing heavily. The remaining two sand cats were lying on the ground in front of him, visibly emitting noxious green fumes. Sly couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for them.

"See? Told you you'd figure something out."

Le Paradox turned around slowly, shooting him his coldest glare yet. "I...hate...you..."

Sly smiled. "I noticed."


	3. Shopping

_Already, I'm having to do a surprising amount of research on ancient Egypt for this story. I did my best, but please forgive any blatant inaccuracies. _

_This is also the first chapter with some of Le Paraodx's POV. About damn time, I think._

* * *

Chapter 3: Shopping

Sly and Le Paradox were already feeling much more optimistic than they had before. At the time, it seemed like the bandit attack had been the culmination of all their bad luck, but it had ended up providing two enormous benefits for them:

One, they had camels now. With the sand cats beaten, it didn't take long to convince (or in Le Paradox's case, coerce) the riding animals into helping them. Better yet, they seemed to know exactly how to get to town so they didn't even have to provide any direction to them.

Two, the bandits had been carrying gold. A lot of gold. As a pair of professional thieves, it would have been silly for them to not take advantage of such an opportunity. In addition to the brown sack that contained their hopes of returning to the present, they now had a smaller white sack, filled with enough gold to buy them everything they needed. And that was good, because they needed a _lot_.

"First things first," Sly said as he gripped the reins of his camel. "We need some disguises. We stick out like a sore thumb in our usual outfits."

"We're a skunk and a raccoon in the middle of ancient Egypt," Le Paradox replied, riding in front of him as Sly still wouldn't let him take the rear. "We're going to stick out no matter what."

"True, but the less attention we draw to ourselves, the better. Besides, don't you think it's worth it just to wear something a little more comfortable?"

Le Paradox tugged at his collar, groaning from the intense heat. "…You may be right," he begrudgingly admitted. "But I will decide what I wear!"

"Yeah, like I was really gonna do your clothes shopping for you," Sly deadpanned.

"And after that, we will get my tools," Le Paradox said, in a tone that sounded more like an order than a request. "Then we'll find a place to stay while I get us out of this mess."

"Yes sir," Sly replied, really starting to miss his actual team right now. _They _were the ones he was supposed to be making plans with, not this jerk. He couldn't imagine what they must have been going through right now without him.

_Hang on guys, I'll make it back to you. Somehow._

* * *

It only took about an hour after that conversation for the duo and their goods to finally reach a town. It was a relatively small place, consisting of stone buildings, tall columns, and most importantly, a marketplace. Had either of them been able to read ancient Egyptian, they would have known that the town was named Hebbu.

Despite their agreement that they focus on getting disguises first, that plan went right out the window as soon as they saw a merchant selling jugs of water. They hadn't realized just how thirsty they really were until they found themselves practically throwing gold into the merchant's face and chugging down a pair of those jugs. The half-empty jugs then joined the rest of their supplies. They could have easily combined the contents into one jug, but that would require drinking from the same water, which neither of them was willing to do.

Only once their thirst was finally quenched did they go about looking for new clothes. There wasn't a large variety of styles at the shop they found, but that only meant they wouldn't have to worry about getting anything that would stand out too much. Sly split up from Le Paradox to do his own shopping, though still kept a close eye on him in the off-chance that he try to run off. As soon as he found a perfect set of clothing, he was led into a small tent to try it on.

Sly changed into his latest disguise and looked himself over in a nearby mirror. He had chosen to go shirtless to deal with the heat, but now wore a striped blue and gold Shendyt, a men's skirt that extended down to the knees and was belted at the waist. He had replaced his cap with a simple headcloth, bearing the same color scheme as the Shendyt, and adorned gold bands on his wrists and ankles. Lastly, he wore a pair of light sandals on his grey-furred feet.

Only now did he realize that he looked strikingly familiar. _What do you know, I'm the spitting image of Slytunkhamen Cooper. Guess I still have my ancestors on the brain. _

He found his mind's subconscious choice of clothing more than appropriate and made the purchase. That did leave him with the question of what to do with his old clothes though. For now, he simply stuffed them in the money bag. Maybe that would keep Le Paradox from trying to steal it.

The skunk had long since gotten changed himself and tapped his foot impatiently by the doorway. He was also dressed in a Shendyt, but one that was mostly black with white trims, matching his natural fur coloration. He hadn't bothered with a headcloth (or perhaps just couldn't fit one over that ridiculous fop of hair on his head) and his only other clothing was a white sleeveless shirt.

He looked at Sly's own outfit with disdain. "I'm glad to see you've decided to dress so lightly."

"Okay, the gold bands might have been a bit much," Sly admitted bashfully. "But we still have a good amount of cash left. Let's go find those tools."

* * *

"…We might have overestimated their selection a tad."

The two thieves stared blankly at the tools being sold. Le Paradox chuckled humorlessly. "Yes, time travel has a way of making you take things for granted, doesn't it?"

There were no wrenches on sale. No pliers, no screwdrivers, no wire cutters. These were ancient times, and all they had to work with were ancient tools. The jackel manning the stand noticed their obvious displeasure, though not their words. "What, do you think you can find a better deal elsewhere? I'd like to see you try," he said indignantly.

He was quite right. This was going to be the best they could get. Le Paradox eventually settled for a knife and mallet, both made of a primitive iron. He also bought a chisel, under the reasoning that he could use it as a makeshift screwdriver if need be. They were fortunate to be in an Egypt that was advanced enough to provide those options instead of tools made from flint and copper, but they didn't exactly see it that way.

"Be honest," Sly said as they left the stand. "Do you really think you can fix the time machine with those?"

Le Paradox was too downtrodden for any snippy comebacks. "I don't know. I think I might be able to, but it's definitely going to take a lot longer."

"I was afraid of that," Sly sighed. His stomach growled and he thought of a way to at least make them feel better. "Hey, you wanna get a bite to eat?"

* * *

"You expect me to eat this peasant's feed?!" Le Paradox yelled, looking down distastefully at the food in front of them as they sat on the outskirts of the town. It was really just a few loaves of bread and some dates, nothing most people would find offensive. Then again, most people weren't skunks with a massive entitlement complex.

"Hey, if you don't want it, feel free to starve yourself. But that'll make it pretty hard to repair the time machine, don't you think?" Cooper asked in that infuriatingly nonchalant way of his, mouth stuffed full of bread.

Le Paradox growled at him, but grabbed a loaf of bread anyway. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something very _off_ with Cooper lately. He seemed...too friendly. Sure, he refused to trust him and he was prone to making verbal jabs at his expense, but he was still acting far too civil towards someone who had tried to erase his family line from history. He himself still felt a passionate hatred towards the entire Cooper clan, so how could the raccoon be so calm about all this?

Those that were more familiar with Sly Cooper would know that he was generally not a vindictive person. While he could certainly hold a grudge and be unwilling to work with others, such as his tenuous alliance with the Panda King, he wouldn't go out of his way to hurt someone for something as petty as revenge. He just wasn't that kind of person.

This however, was not the conclusion Le Paradox had reached.

_He must be plotting to steal the time machine for himself and ditch me here! Yes, that must be it. This is all just a ploy to make me lower my guard. Well, I'm not going to let that happen!_

Le Paradox was already planning to do the exact same thing of course, so what he felt couldn't exactly be called betrayal. If anything, it was more like a feeling of resentment towards Cooper for _daring _to plot against him. Whatever the feeling was, he fully intended to beat him to the punch.

While glaring at Cooper's innocently scheming face, he caught a glimpse of the "tool set" he had bought and inwardly sighed.

_If I can even GET that far…_


	4. Paranoia

_I've noticed that the titles of all my chapters so far begin with the letter "S". This was not intentional, nor is it a pattern I intend to continue._

_If you're wondering where I'm coming up with all these crazy Egyptian names, Isis is the name of an ancient Egyptain goddess (and one of Catwoman's cats so it's doubly fitting), but Hebbu and Neema I literally just pulled from a name generator. Sorry, no special meaning there._

* * *

Chapter 4: Paranoia

Neema sat behind the counter of the inn, tapping her claws absentmindedly on the wooden surface. The young fennec fox shot up straight as the front door opened and she hastily smoothed out her white linen dress, known as a kalasiris, to look more presentable. She smiled warmly at her latest guests, only faltering slightly at their unusual appearance.

This inn had been run by her family for generations and she herself had taken up the job of manning the counter for nearly a decade. As such, she was used to checking in all manner of strange customers, but these two were already among the strangest. They were both dressed normally, but of species she could not identify. There was a tall one that was grey with black markings, and a shorter one that was black with white markings. They had multiple belongings with them, though oddly it was the grey one that seemed to be doing all of the carrying. Neither of them introduced themselves, and it was considered rude to ask for their names unprompted, so she mentally nicknamed them Ring Tail and Stripe Tail based on their physical characteristics.

"We would like to stay here for a few nights," Ring Tail said, slipping a small pile of gold coins over the counter, with one paw in his sack to imply that he could pay more if needed.

Neema quickly counted out the coins. "This will be enough for three nights. Is that acceptable? You can pay more if you need to stay longer."

"Yes, that's fine," he nodded.

"Alright. Then I will take you to your room."

Neema turned around to lead them away, but stopped when she noticed she was not being followed. Ring Tail and Stripe Tail had not moved from their original spots, suddenly looking uncertain. Before she could ask what was wrong, Stripe Tail spoke up first. "Wait...you mean...you're giving us the same room?"

She cocked her head to the side in typical canine fashion. "Well...yes. You are staying together, are you not?"

Had she known the kind of chaos she would unleash by asking that question, she would've been more hesitant to do so. Instantly, Ring Tail and Stripe Tail were at each others' throats, in clear disagreement about the arrangements. Their words were hard to pick up, and some of them made no sense (just what the heck was a "time machine"), but the basic gist was clear: they did _not_ want to be in a room together. So why they were traveling with each other in the first place she didn't understand, but it was not her place to ask.

"Okay, okay!" Neema cut in before they caused too much of a ruckus. "I'll give you separate rooms then. But that's going to cost extra-"

"Deal!" They shouted simultaneously as Ring Tail slammed down a few more coins.

What strange customers indeed.

* * *

As the fennec fox led them to their neighboring, but separate rooms, Sly let out a sigh of relief at the disaster they had just averted. If he and Le Paradox could barely stand each when they just traveling through the desert, how would they have ever managed to sleep in the same room together? That kind of arrangement could have only ended with one or both of them dead.

His room was extremely modest, consisting only of a single bed and a window. It was more than enough to suit his purposes. Sly went up to the window and looked through his binocucom, peering out at the town of Hebbu below. He was halfway through doing recon of the town when he remembered that he wasn't on a mission. There were no guards to get around, nothing to pickpocket, nothing that would pose any danger to him. The biggest threat in the vicinity was living right next door.

Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to find out what Le Paradox was up to, Sly stuck his ear tight against the wall and listened. It was made only of a thin layer of stone, so he knew he would be able to listen in on the skunk with his acute hearing. He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting to hear. Perhaps the sounds of tinkering machinery or, more likely, some conspiracy about how to backstab him. But what he _wasn't_ expecting to hear was absolutely nothing.

Confused, Sly closed his eyes in concentration and listened even harder. Still nothing.

_What on Earth is he up to?_

* * *

_What on Earth is he up to?_

Unbeknownst to Sly, Le Paradox was leaning directly on the other side of the wall with the exact same intent. Normally, he couldn't care less about what Cooper was doing at any given moment, but now that he had convinced himself the raccoon was plotting against him, he wanted to keep track of his every move. It unnerved him greatly that he couldn't hear anything coming from his room. He knew from experience that Cooper was not _this _quiet.

Both thieves were completely silent so as not to alert the other to their eavesdropping, which was why neither of them heard a thing from their neighbor. And it was also what caused them both to jump to the same false conclusion.

_He's already ditched me!_

* * *

_He's already ditched me!_

Sly clenched his teeth, angry at himself for taking so long to listen in on Le Paradox. He should of known he would try to pull something like this. He never should of let him have his own room.

He tore out of his room to enter the neighboring one and confirm his suspicions, unaware that Le Paradox was doing the same. Unaware that is, until they crashed straight into each other in the hallway. The two thieves lied there in a jumbled heap for several moments, neither willing to admit to their mistake. They mutually decided to just pretend this never happened.

"I'm going to work on the time machine now," Le Paradox said, his face buried beneath Sly's tail.

"Good idea," Sly replied, the skunk's foot resting on top of his head.

* * *

Le Paradox locked himself back in his room and vowed not to come out again unless it was an emergency.

He looked down at the brown sack he had been entrusted with. He had put this off long enough. His room didn't have any kind of work desk, so he just settled for his bed. He gently dumped the time machine components onto the bed, suddenly seeing a lot more than he remembered collecting.

He took a deep breath to stave off his nervousness. He may not have built the original machine, but he had stared at the blueprints long enough in his obsession with revenge to have memorized them. Sure, it would have to be heavily modified, but it couldn't be that hard, right? He already recognized what piece did what. It would be just like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

_Except that jigsaw puzzles don't require advanced tools to complete._

He glared back and forth between the primitive Egyptian tool set and the time machine components in sheer determination. If it meant escaping a life trapped with Cooper, he could do anything.

With that, he set to work.

* * *

Nighttime in the desert was often unpleasant. The temperature dropped to the point of being freezing cold, and it was even worse if the wind started acting up, as it was now. It was all just salt in the wound for the group of unlucky sand cats trudging across the dunes. Having lost two of their camels to an unexpectedly formidable pair of travelers, those two riders were now forced to buddy up with someone else.

"What are we going to do, Isis?" one of these unfortunate riders cried. "We just lost a whole _week's _worth of gold! We can't go back empty-handed!"

Isis growled, her violet eyes gleaming dangerously. "We won't. We're going to track those two thieves down and get back what is ours."

"You think they're still around?" another sand cat asked. "If I were them, I would be as far away as possible right now."

Isis smiled. "Did you see their supplies? They were carrying no food or water whatsoever. That means they'll have to stop in town to replenish, and that's where we'll find them." This answer satisfied the other sand cats, who all relished the opportunity as much as she did.

Hebbu came into sight above the horizon and Isis's smile grew into a malicious grin. She wouldn't underestimate them this time. Her twin blades would claim that cocky raccoon's head before the night was out.


	5. Rematch

_Sorry for the slight delay on this one. It took a bit more work than usual._

* * *

Chapter 5: Rematch

_I can't do it._

Le Paradox threw down the Egyptian mallet and screamed in frustration. It was no good. He had worked for _hours_ into the night and all he had to show for it was an abomination of machinery, crudely constructed through hammering components into place and cutting off bits that got in the way. He had indeed managed to use his chisel as a screwdriver to get a few bolts in place, but the rest of the design clearly announced to the world that he had no idea what he was doing. The temporal sprocket was wedged upside-down and the pieces of the gravity encabulator stuck out at odd angles, all sitting underneath a medium-sized clock face that was cracked down the middle. This thing would never get him home.

He pushed the thing out of his sight and hung his head in misery. So that was it then. He couldn't fix the time machine, and no one else from this era would be able to do it either. So what now? He couldn't just stay in ancient Egypt forever.

Could he?

The skunk stared down at the bed as he thought it over. What did he really have to go back to anyway? His royal status was gone, his assets were frozen, and there was surely a warrant for his arrest by now. He didn't really have anything to lose anymore. Not like Cooper did.

Le Paradox's head finally rose again, but now his face bore an evil smirk.

* * *

Sly groaned as he tossed and turned on top of his bed again. He couldn't sleep that night. How could he, knowing that his only hope of getting to see his friends again was Cyrille Le Paradox. That kind of "hope" was enough to drive anyone mad.

In this case, it was very fortunate that he happened to be awake. Otherwise, he might have missed the light thud from outside his window. Groaning again, he drowsily made his way over to the window and peeked outside. "Unnh...now what-HEY!"

All tiredness left him instantly at the sight of Le Paradox taking off across the street, brown sack in his paws. There was no mistaking his intentions this time. "Why, that miserable...!" Sly snatched up his cane and wasted no time in leaping out of the window in pursuit.

With the skunk weighed down by the sack, Sly quickly caught up to him. "Seriously?! You couldn't even wait another night?!" He swung his cane, but missed as Le Paradox jumped onto a tapestry and then onto a rooftop. Sly did the same, only to immediately get nailed in the face with the sack he was after, dazing him for a second.

"Expect the unexpected, Cooper!" Sly came to his senses and saw Le Paradox smirking at him from across the roof. Sly held his cane out in front of him in a clear sign of challenge, and was surprised when Le Paradox did the same with his rapier. He looked down and sure enough, the rapier that usually hung at his side was gone, Le Paradox having swiped it during moment of dizziness. "Don't look so smug, Le Paradox. I beat you once and I'll do it again."

"That is where you are wrong, Cooper. I'm on to your tricks this time." He dropped the brown sack onto the roof and Sly noticed that it didn't produce quite as much sound as before, probably because less pieces were inside of it.

"I see you've already made some progress on the time machine," he said bitterly. "So how close are you to finishing it?"

At this, Le Paraodox's smirk faded a bit. "On the contrary...the time machine cannot be fixed. I'm only taking it so I can pawn it off somewhere."

"So you're just giving up?! You're okay with being stranded here?!"

"Yes," he said, now smug again. "It won't be so bad. I'll adapt. I'll build up my criminal empire anew, and then Le Paradox will rule the Egyptian underworld!"

Sly just shook his head. "You're insane. Though I don't know _why _that surprises me."

He growled. "Enough talk! Die, Cooper!"

Le Paradox leapt at him and swung with his rapier. Sly was quick to bring up his cane to block it and the two weapons clashed. Sly narrowed his eyes in anger. "Alright Le Paraodx, if you want me to beat the stink out of you again, that's fine by me."

Sly pushed Le Paradox back and swung at him in a downward arc. Le Paradox jumped the swing again and raised his rapier high to bring it down on Sly's head. The raccoon rolled out of the way and got back up again just in time to block a thrust. He spun his cane to catch the rapier with it's hook and yanked it down, letting him knee Le Paradox in the chin. He jumped back to get some distance. As Sly came after him, Le Paradox kicked sand into his face, opening him up just enough for the skunk to make a slash at him. Sly sensed the danger in time to dodge backwards, but still got a small cut across his chest.

"Don't even want to fight fair anymore, huh?" Sly said coldly and opened his eyes, only to see Le Paradox taking off again with the sack. He growled and gave chase, following him across a few more rooftops until they reached a set of stone columns jutting up out of the ground. Neither of them slowed down and the chase continued as they spire jumped from column to column. Sly managed to catch up and swung, but Le Paradox whirled around to block it with his rapier. They clashed weapons like that for a little while longer, with Le Paradox now jumping backwards while still warding off his blows.

A single move changed it. Le Paradox blocked another swing, but instead of attacking back, he slashed at the column below him as he jumped to the next. Sly instinctively pulled back to avoid the blade and missed the jump. His reflexes were fast enough that he hooked his cane onto the top as he fell, but this gave Le Paradox a huge lead.

Knowing he would have a hard time catching him on foot now, Sly stared down at his cane and made a decision. The last time he tried this didn't end so well, but he was determined to stop Le Paradox at any cost. He stretched his arm back and flung the cane forward with all his might. The weapon spun a few times in the air and struck the skunk in the back just as he tried to jump across another rooftop, making him fall into the alleyway between the two buildings.

Sly landed on the roof himself and picked up his cane, glaring down into the alley. "So Le Paradox, you ready to give up y-oh boy."

Le Paradox was down there alright, and so was the sack containing the incomplete time machine, but they were joined by the group of sand cats he had humiliated earlier. They had Le Paradox surrounded and the head cat held her khopesh tight against his throat. Already, the skunk's bravado was gone and his eyes were silently pleading for help. "Now this is a pleasant surprise," the violet-eyed cat smiled. "I was hoping to take _your _head tonight, but this one will make a nice consolation prize."

"Let him go, lady. I have no problem taking you guys down too."

"Isis," the sand cat introduced herself. "And you're in no position to be giving demands,_ Slytunkhamen Cooper._"

Sly's eyes widened in recognition of the name. "That's right, I know who you are," Isis continued. "I couldn't tell in those bizarre clothes you were wearing before, but now it is all too blatant. How could I not recognize such a big name?" The mocking tone in her voice was evident.

Sly didn't bother to correct her. It would only make this more complicated and he _was_ still a Cooper after all. "What do you want?"

"Hmm..." Isis tapped one khopesh against her chin in thought, while keeping the other firmly at Le Paradox's throat. "First of all, give back all of that gold you stole from us."

Sly shrugged. "Can't. Spent it."

"WHAT?! You spent _all _of it?!" The sand cats seethed. Le Paradox shot Sly a look that clearly read "What the hell are you doing?!". Sly ignored him. After all the crap he put him through tonight, he was fine letting him sweat a little. Technically, they still had some of the gold too, but he saw no reason to give it up if he didn't have to.

Isis calmed herself down, if only marginally. "Alright then..." She signaled to one of her cohorts, who hefted up the brown sack, while she pressed her blade even tighter against Le Paradox's throat. "I'll make you a deal. Your friend, or the sack. Choose one, and we'll take the other."

"Ooh, how cruel!" one of the other sand cats said, in a voice that sounded much more delighted than horrified.

The skunk's face fell, as his prospects of surviving this encounter dropped enormously. Sly glared fiercely at him, but his choice was inevitable. "Let him go. You can have the sack."

Le Paradox was shocked, as was Isis. "Interesting...this must be that famous Cooper sentiment I've heard so much about. Fine with me. I don't know what's in that sack, but for you two to fight over it, it must be quite valuable indeed. Don't worry, I'll make good use of it."

Isis took her blade from Le Paradox's throat and shoved him away. The sand cats then drew small pellets and tossed them to the ground, creating a smokescreen that completely filled the alleyway. When the smoke cleared, the sand cats, and the time machine, were gone.

Sly slapped his forehead. "_Fan_tastic."


	6. Pursuit

_I found out today that there is no good resource for translating English into Egyptian. The closest thing is to translate it into a form of Arabic that is spoken by most modern Egyptians, but that doesn't really work in this setting. Makes coming up with names a bit on the limiting side. Oh well._

* * *

Chapter 6: Pursuit

"I can't believe your stupidity! You just let them run off with the time machine like it was no big deal!"

"Are you seriously _complaining _that I saved your life?" Sly looked at the skunk in disbelief as he tossed the rest of his supplies onto his camel. The sun had risen once more on the town of Hebbu and they wanted to waste no time in hunting down the sand cats. Thankfully, they still had enough supplies to last them a good while longer. "Besides, I thought you were ready to pawn the thing off. Why do you care what happens to it?"

Le Paradox looked away. "That…might have been a slight error in judgement. A few more days at it, and I might have gotten somewhere."

Sly rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you've decided to rethink this now that you almost died. _Again_. What, does living in ancient Egypt not sound so nice anymore?" He didn't respond. Once again, it seemed that the skunk's ego had overwritten his rational thought. And once again, it had nearly cost him everything.

_And the chances of him learning something from this? Exactly 0% _

"Wait! Are you two leaving already?" Sly and Le Paradox both ceased their packing and turned to the person now running towards them. It was the fennec fox girl that ran the inn.

"Yeah, sorry we didn't tell you," Sly said. "We won't be needing those other two nights, Miss…"

"Neema," she said. "Don't worry about it. Just let me refund you." He wasn't about to say no. They needed all the help they could get right now.

Neema dug through her pockets for a moment, then deposited a small sum of gold coins into Sly's waiting paws. "Thank you. This will come in handy."

"Are we about ready yet?" Le Paradox asked rudely, having lost interest in the innkeeper and going back to his packing. His camel was all set to ride now.

"Almost," Sly said, coming up behind him. "Just one more thing." He swung his cane sharply into the skunk's backside. Le Paradox was launched into the air with a yelp, where Sly grabbed him with the cane again and slammed him into the ground, knocking him out instantly. His patented sneak attack worked as well as ever.

"What are you doing?!" Neema gasped.

Sly realized he had forgotten about her, but he wouldn't be swayed as he started tying the skunk up. "Taking precautions. This guy tried to kill me three times in two days. I'm done taking chances with him."

"But aren't you friends? Or at least…partners?"

Sly finished tying Le Paradox up, confiscated his rapier again, and tossed him unceremoniously onto his camel. The beast would be able to carry him on its own just fine as long as he kept an eye on it. "Not even close. We're just the shared victims of bad luck, and I'm pretty sure I got it a lot worse."

"Oh…" Neema said, not really sure how to respond. Avoiding his gaze, her eyes started to wander over the duo's things, where she noticed something off. "Hey, weren't you carrying a big brown sack when you came in?"

Sly flinched. As if he needed to be reminded of that. "Case in point. _This _jerk lost it on us." He pointed a thumb at the unconscious Le Paradox. "It got stolen by a bunch of sand cats and now we're trying to get it back."

"S-Sand cats?" Neema asked nervously, which Sly was quick to pick up on.

"You know of them?"

Neema hesitated for a moment, as if afraid to speak, but answered anyway. "They've been plaguing this region for some time now, preying on travelers that come to and from Hebbu. They call themselves the 'Sisterhood of the Sand'."

"Sisterhood? So they really are all women then? Sounds like a band of thieves I can get behind," Sly chuckled to himself. "I don't suppose you know where they hang out?"

"You don't even know where you're going? How exactly were you planning to find them?"

Sly rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, I assumed their hideout was around here somewhere, so we were just going to...look out for them...ask around..." _I'm REALLY not good at being the plan guy._

Neema ran a paw down her face. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"Was it that obvious?" Sly sighed. No use hiding it now.

"Extremely,"

"Right...so any idea where this Sisterhood might be?"

"I've seen them come in and out of town a few times, and it was usually from the West. Maybe that's where their hideout is."

"From the West? That's not a lot to go on."

"More than you had before," she smirked. _Good point._

_"_Anyway, thanks for the rooms, and the help. We should be going."

Sly turned to head to his camel, but Neema grabbed him by the wrist to stop him. "Look, I don't know who you guys are, but clearly you need some help getting around. I can come along with you if you want."

"No way," Sly said firmly. "It's too dangerous. Besides, don't you have an inn to run?"

She shrugged. "It gets boring managing that stuffy inn all day and night. I could use a little more danger, Ring Tail."

The nickname she had chosen for the stranger slipped out before she could stop herself. She would've apologized for the slip-up right then and there if not for the profound effect it seemed to have on him. His eyes widened to the size of saucers and he froze in shock. She looked at him curiously, wondering what was going on.

What she couldn't have known was that this particular nickname was one that he was already familiar with. That, combined with her species, had struck Sly with a powerful reminder of what he had lost.

Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox. She had been trying to track him down for as long as he could remember. Despite their differences, the two of them had always had feelings for each other, but their time to act on them was exceedingly brief. And right when they were about to patch things up again, this had to happen to him. What was she doing right now? Was she still looking for him...or had she already moved on?

"Hello? Hello!"

Sly snapped back to reality at the concerned cries of the fennec fox. This was not Carmelita. She wasn't even a distant ancestor. And this was not the kind of distraction he needed right now. "Please...don't call me that."

Neema jumped a little, surprised by his sudden response. "O-Okay...so what should I call you then?"

Sly thought it over for a moment. At this point, he might as well just accept the name this land seemed to have decided for him. "Just call me Slytunkhamen Cooper."

* * *

Needless to say, Le Paradox was _not_ happy when he woke up. They were well out of town by the time that happened, so Sly was more than ready for it. "Hey, you're up. Did you have a nice sleep?" he asked as cheerfully as possible.

Le Paradox immediately started screaming his head off on the camel behind him, which Sly found immensely amusing. Given the circumstances, he was fine taking the front now.

"You really shouldn't rile him up like that," Neema said, shaking her head in disapproval. Yes, she was coming along. It only took a few moments of pleading puppy-dog eyes to accomplish it too. Sly pegged it on her resemblance to Carmelita to retain his dignity, which wasn't easy since she happened to be sharing his camel and sitting directly behind him.

"I can't help it. He's just too easy," Sly replied, laughing.

Neema frowned and looked back at Le Paradox, who seemed to not notice her at all. Her nose twitched and she whispered to Sly, a pointless gesture as the skunk never would have heard her over his own screaming. "Why does he smell so bad?"

"He just does. You'll get used to it." Sly paused at his own words. Had _he _gotten used to it? Come to think of it, he had been pretty much nose-blind to the skunk's odor for a while now. He couldn't distinctly remember smelling it since their first trek through the desert. If there was any indication that he had spent far too much time around Le Paradox, _that _was it.

"So what else do you know about this Sisterhood?" he asked, wanting to get off the subject of Le Paradox.

"Not much, I'm afraid. I already told you everything I know...well, almost..."

"Almost?"

"It's nothing really. Just a rumor I heard."

"Please, anything would help," Sly insisted.

She bit her lip. "Like I said, this is just a rumor, but I heard that they don't just steal for their own personal gain. They serve a god."

Complete silence. Sly's mouth hung open, at a complete loss of what to say to that. Even Le Paradox had ceased his ranting and raving to stare at her.

"I said it was just a rumor!" Neema crossed her arms and turned away, embarrassed.

"I didn't know ancient Egpytian gods were into thievery," Sly said dryly, taking this just as seriously as he sounded.

"What do you mean 'ancient' Egyptian?" Neema asked, confused.

Sly ignored her and looked back at the desert. "I don't care if these guys are picking pockets for Osiris. They have what's ours, and we're going to get it back. No matter what."

There was a long moment of silence again, eventually broken by Le Paradox.

"Wait, what's_ she_ doing here?"


	7. Teamwork

_Sorry my updates have been getting slower, guys. To be honest, my interest in this story has been waning lately. But I WILL finish it. Don't you worry about that._

* * *

Chapter 7: Teamwork

After several hours into their journey, Le Paradox had mostly settled down. Though he was still royally pissed off, his anger seemed to be at least partially directed towards the Sisterhood of the Sand rather than Sly, which he was very thankful for. Now maybe he could count on the skunk to at least help get the time machine back before trying to kill him again.

What he wasn't aware of, was that despite his earlier doubts, Le Paradox _had_ learned from his past mistakes. He was certain now that a direct attack would never succeed. Loathe as he was to admit it, Cooper's skill in battle exceeded his own, and now he was left powerless again. No, if he wanted to achieve his vengeance, he would need to be more cunning. He would let Cooper think he was out of danger for a while, then strike when he least expected it.

As the raccoon rode on in front of him, he glared icily into his backside. _Mark my words Cooper, I won't rest until I've left you buried in these sands._

* * *

The journey continued much like this for the rest of the day. Sly and Neema casually chatted to each other about themselves (with Sly being very careful not to reveal anything that would cause a temporal meltdown), while Le Paradox stayed mostly silent and plotted his rival's demise. They had seen no sign of their enemies up to this point, but finally Sly spotted something on his binocucom. "Wait, hold up! There's something over that dune."

Sly's camel made a slight detour to the right to investigate. Le Paradox complained, but he had no choice but to follow as his camel went automatically to join its partner. It was fitting that it did, as what Sly had discovered was the half-buried corpse of another camel.

Sly jumped down off of his own camel and knelt down for a closer look. The animal hadn't been dead for very long as its body was only slightly decayed, but there was definitely something familiar about it. "You see this riding cloth it's wearing?" Sly asked, pointing to the red garment draped over the body. "It's the same kind of design that we have on ours."

Neema peered over the side of the camel. "You're right. Do you think...?"

He nodded. "Yeah, this has to be another one of the Sisterhood's mounts. They've gotta be sharing a few of them by now," he said with a slight smirk.

"So what killed it?"

"I'm not sure," Sly leaned in even closer to try to discern the cause of death. He found his answer, but not in the way he expected.

"Look out!" Neema shouted. Le Paradox noticed the danger as well, but remained silent.

"What the-YIKES!" Sly jumped back just in time to keep a large red stinger from stabbing into his big toe. That stinger was soon joined by a body, that was then joined by several other bodies.

"Scorpions!" But these weren't just any scorpions. They were red and yellow in color and each was roughly the size of a breadbox. Certainly not the kind of scorpion you could just step on.

Sly scrambled back onto his camel, which backed away fearfully from the advancing arachnids. "I've heard about scorpions like these," Neema said. "They hide themselves underground, then spring up to ambush travelers."

"That's ridiculous!" Le Paradox shouted from behind. "Scorpions don't hunt in packs!"

"Try telling _them _that," Sly said dryly.

"What do we do?!" Neema screamed.

Sly eyed the approaching horde and called back. "You and Le Paradox get to safety. I'll handle them." Without another word, Sly left his camel again and brandished his cane.

"You can't possibly-!" Neema tried to protest, but the camels were already scampering away from the scorpions, either following Sly's orders or just too frightened to approach.

As soon as they were a good distance away, Sly put all of his focus on the enemy and attacked. These scorpions were definitely smarter than average, as they almost immediately attempted to split up and surround him. Sly thwarted their efforts by maneuvering away and striking back when he was out of their range.

It quickly became clear that he had bitten off more than he could chew. Scorpions scattered with every swing of his cane, but more continued to spring up, and this constant zipping back and forth was seriously starting to wear him out. The scorpions noticed this and started to attack even more viciously. He was holding his own for now, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he slipped up and received a fatal sting.

Neema, watching helplessly from a distance, came to the came conclusion. "This is hopeless! He'll never beat all those things by himself!"

Le Paradox smirked. The girl was making this all too easy. "You're right. He needs my help," he said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "Please, you have to untie me."

She hesitated. "I don't know...Slytunkhamen said you couldn't be trusted."

"Oh, he _would _say that," Le Paradox gave a dramatic sigh. "He was always jealous of my greatness."

Seeing Neema looking more confused than anything, he grunted and cut straight to the point. "If you don't untie me soon, Cooper is going to die no matter what. But if you want to waste time pondering over how trustworthy I am, then so be it. " He put on an air of casual indifference, which he didn't even need to fake. "C'est la vie."

"Oh...alright," Neema decided, working at the ropes on the skunk's wrists.

Sly just barely dodged out of the way of another scorpion's stinger and scooped the creature up in his cane, flinging it into its comrades. This did almost nothing to slow the horde as they continued to advance on him. Sly panted from exertion and raised his cane again, ready to keep fighting as long as it took.

He was so focused on them that he didn't notice Le Paradox until he felt the familiar rapier snatched from his waist. "Thank you kindly."

Sly gaped. "What?! How did you-" He glanced back and saw Neema giving him an apologetic smile. He growled in frustration, but his frustration remained on Le Paradox. He suspected (correctly) that he had manipulated the fennec fox to his own ends and now he was back to being his problem again.

But there was no time to worry about that now as the scorpions were still on the attack. The two thieves struck back, both determined to eliminate this enemy so they could go back to dealing with each other. Sly was no longer being pushed back by the opposing force. He and Le Paradox were now the ones doing the pushing, cutting their way through the horde. Though neither of them would acknowledge it, they were subconsciously working together, Sly taking out the brunt of the attackers and Le Paradox getting the stragglers that attempted to surround them.

Seeing that their prey was quickly becoming a lot more trouble than they were worth, the remaining scorpions retreated back underground and didn't emerge again. The battle was won, but there were no celebrations to be had, only accusations. "What's going on, Le Paradox? You could have easily let me die here. Why did you help me?"

The skunk smiled. "What, can't you believe that maybe I've learned my lesson and am trying to make amends?"

"Nope," he answered bluntly and walked away, leaving Le Paradox fuming behind him. He spotted the carcass of a scorpion on the ground and growled as he kicked it away.

* * *

The scorpion attack left everyone drained. By the time the sun started to set, they were more than ready to make camp for the night. Lacking actual tents (their gold had dried up too much for that option), the trio made do with a small rock formation, branching out over the ground just enough to provide shelter. It was a far cry from the temple two of them had stayed in that first night, but at least the rocks served as a shield against the wind. They even pulled the riding cloths off of the camels to use as blankets. Sly and Neema shared one, while Le Paradox stayed at a safe distance with his own.

The fact that the skunk could move freely now was not lost on him. "Don't even think of trying anything Le Paradox," he said warningly. "I'm a _very _light sleeper."

Le Paradox put a paw to his chest, as if deeply hurt by the implied threat. "Now Cooper, I would never do something so despicable," said the guy who had attempted to run off with the time machine just last night.

Neema looked between the two and sighed. "Why can't you two just get along? What is _with _you?"

"He tried to erase my family name!" Sly protested.

"He ruined my fortune and my future!" Le Paradox yelled simultaneously.

"I understand," Neema said patiently, though she really didn't understand at all. They had both refused to go into detail about their little grudge. "But don't you think you can at least put that aside for a bit while you're trying to get your stuff back? Didn't you see the way you took out those scorpions today? If you can just work together, nothing will stop you!"

This time it was Sly who sighed. "I know what you're trying to do Neema, but it's not going to happen. We've been enemies for too long, and that's not going to magically change just because we happen to be in this together. So drop it, okay?"

"But-"

"What do you know, there _is _something we can agree on," Le Paradox said, sneering at her. "Stay out of our business, girl!"

The two rivals, having said their piece, both turned away from her and went to sleep. Neema stayed awake for a few minutes longer, just staring into the night sky. At this rate, these two were going to get themselves killed. She could only wonder what would get them first: the Sisterhood, or each other.


	8. Recon

_It occurs to me that this is probably going to be the shortest story I've ever written (excluding my oneshot obviously). There's only so much you can do with this premise before it goes stale and it's time to start wrapping things up. Still a few more chapters to go after this though._

* * *

Chapter 8: Recon

The next morning was tense for everyone. Sly didn't trust Le Paradox, Le Paradox didn't trust Sly, and Neema had no idea how to keep them from going at each other's throats. No one spoke a word as they set out once more, but there was plenty that wanted to be said. The fennec fox could barely stand the silence. It felt like any second someone was going to explode and the two would be fighting to the death again.

So it was extremely fortunate for everyone involved that they found the Sisterhood's hideout only twenty minutes in.

They didn't realize that this was what it was at first. They only saw a massive canyon stretching across the desert in front of them, which would have impeded their progress significantly if this weren't their destination. Le Paradox started to complain when Sly bluntly told him to shut up. It was the first thing either of them had said to each other that day and not a sign that their relationship was improving.

But Sly's remark wasn't purely mean-spirited. "Look," he whispered, pointing off into the canyon. From around the bend came a pair of camels, each bearing a sand cat rider. The trio immediately backed away from the edge and commanded their own camels to stay put. They would do nothing for them now except draw unwanted attention. Crawling along the sand, they edged back towards the cliff again and peered over cautiously. The sand cats were still there, though they had veered off the path through the canyon and now stood facing the cliff-side away from them.

"What's going on?" Neema asked. "Why are they just staring at a wall?" They kept watching as one of the felines reached out and pushed in a seemingly ordinary rock. A few seconds later, there was a thunderous rumble and the stone wall moved upwards, creating an opening that the sand cats and their rides quickly passed through. The opening closed behind them and the canyon returned to its natural state as if nothing had happened.

"A secret entrance. Clever." Sly smirked. "Lucky we happened to be around to see that."

"I would hardly call this lucky," Le Paradox scowled. "All we know now is how to get into their hideout. We still have no idea what the _inside _looks like."

Sly's expression did not change. "Then I guess we better find out."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

Sly held up his binocucom triumphantly. "The same way I usually do: sneak in, take a few photos, sneak out."

"Photos?" Neema asked, unfamiliar with the term.

They ignored her. "So either you get us the insight we need, or you get yourself caught and perish? Sounds like a win-win to me." Le Paradox grinned, and Sly's face dropped instantly. He had just noticed a huge flaw in his plan: it involved leaving Le Paradox alone with Neema.

_What could he possibly do? _he tried to reassure himself, but his imagination was quick to provide a whole list of answers.

\- Manipulate Neema into siding with him. Again.

\- Take Neema hostage and force him to give up the time machine.

\- Turn him and Neema over to the Sisterhood to bargain for the time machine.

\- Outright kill her just to spite him.

He stopped himself there before he could get any more creative. "You're coming with me."

"What?" Le Paradox hissed. "Make me."

He was roughly kicked in the back, sending him tumbling over the side of the cliff and stopping right at bottom. He groaned.

Sly looked on in surprise as Neema drew a sandaled foot back. "Just to be clear, I'm not taking sides here, but I agree that he should go with you. Just please, _try _to get along."

"I'll try," Sly said simply, knowing already that he couldn't make that promise. He opened a small compartment on his binocucom and withdrew a small microphone that he handed it to Neema. "You keep a lookout for us. Let us know if anything else happens out here."

"Woah," the fennec fox gasped, looking at the device in awe. "What _is _this thing? Some kind of magical artifact?"

"Sure, let's go with that," Sly answered, figuring that would be easier than trying to explain the technology to her. "Just be careful."

"You too," she smiled. Sly gave her a smile in return and slid down the cliffside.

He reached the bottom just as Le Paradox got back up, brushing dust off himself bitterly. He said nothing as Sly walked by, just grunted and followed after him.

* * *

The first obstacle was the secret entrance itself. Obviously, the two of them were not sanctioned Sisterhood members so getting in without being noticed would prove a little difficult. But only a little. Luckily for them, the mechanism was not equipped with any kind of peephole for those inside to see who was coming in. They probably just assumed that anyone with knowledge of the entrance was a member. That worked in their favor, as there were a pair of guards standing directly inside.

Naturally, the guards were stunned to see the two thieves at their doorstep. They were even more stunned when they both attacked, striking simultaneously with their respective weapons. They each took a blow to the skull and collapsed to the ground with no resistance. The felines were dragged into the corner and sat upright, so they looked more lazy than unconscious. "It's not much, but it will have to do," Sly said as soon as they finished pushing the wall back into place. "Now let's take a look around."

There was more to see than they expected. The tunnel they entered through was small and cramped, but it quickly opened up into a much larger chamber. The hideout had been cleverly hidden within the walls of this canyon and they had plenty of room to work with. The whole place was made up of a series of wooden walkways and ladders that extended all the way to the top. These walkways led to several smaller cave openings that led on into other chambers. It wasn't just the hideout that was larger than expected either. They could see what looked like _dozens _of sand cats making their way around the place.

"So now what, smart guy?" Le Paradox asked smugly, apparently forgetting that he wanted the time machine too.

Sly remained silent as he pulled out the binocucom and took a photo of the chamber. Whatever plan he was going to come up with, this information would help immensely. "Let's go," he ordered Le Paradox. "Stay close."

Not waiting for him to object, Sly left the tunnel and hid himself again behind one of the walkway structures. Le Paradox hastily followed, his cowardice overriding his pride. The bickering stopped here, as their thieving instincts kicked in and told them that silence was key. The duo slowly made their way up the walkways, ducking out of sight of the sand cat guards when necessary. Eventually reaching the top of the structure, they peeked out once more.

"Do you see that?" Sly whispered to his begrudging partner, tilting his head towards one of the cave entrances. They watched as a sand cat carried a small golden chalice into the cave, then walked out empty-handed a few moments later. "That must be where they keep their treasure hoard."

"So that's where we'll find the time machine," Le Paradox smiled.

They adjusted their position again so they could get a better look inside the cave. They couldn't tell for sure if it was the Sisterhood's treasure hoard, but the locked metal door was a good sign. "Looks like this won't be _too _easy," Sly quickly drew his binocucom again and snapped a picture of the door.

"So now what?"

"Now we get the heck out of here and come up with a plan."

They began their climb back to the bottom when suddenly there was a loud crackling from the binocucom. Thankfully, no one heard it but the two of them as Sly paused to pull the device back up again. "Hey! Slytunkhamen, are you there?!"

Sly winced. "Yes Neema, I can hear you. You don't have to be so loud."

"Well how am I supposed to know how this crazy thing works?" she asked indignantly. "Anyway, there's more sand cats headed your way. They're coming through the entrance now."

On cue, they heard the low rumbling of the stone doorway and saw another group of felines enter the main chamber. They recognized the one at the front instantly. It was Isis, the bandit leader.

"Do you see them?"

Sly gave a low growl. He had a real bone to pick with this one. "Yeah. I see them."

They made it back to ground level and slowly snuck around Isis and her followers. The sand cats hadn't even bothered to close the entrance this time, too busy arguing with the newly-awoken door guards about why they were caught sleeping on the job. The outside was in plain sight, but as Le Paradox was about to bolt for it, he saw Sly pause for a moment. "What are you doing?!" he whispered harshly.

"It might be a good idea to get a picture of her too, just in case." Sly hurriedly snapped a picture of Isis from behind as she continued to threaten the guards.

"Great, now hurry up before you get us killed."

But it was not Sly that almost got them killed a moment later, it was Le Paradox. As they entered the tunnel that would lead them to freedom, a stray breeze came in from outside. The breeze wasn't strong enough to slow them down, but it was just strong enough to blow the skunk's "unique" aroma in the direction of the sand cats. Sly had so adjusted to the smell by now that he didn't even notice it anymore, but the cats noticed it just fine.

Sly flinched as he heard them let out loud cries of disgust. "Ugh! What _is _that?!" Isis screamed, whirling around to face the tunnel.

There was nothing there.

Isis looked around for a few moments in confusion, but eventually gave up. "Must be some spoiled food stock or something," she muttered as she turned back to the guards. "Get that sorted out. Consider it your punishment."

"Y-Yes, boss!"

A few seconds after everyone left, Sly lowered himself from the ceiling of the tunnel. Good thing his cane was strong enough to hold up him _and _Le Paradox, who was clinging to his back in terror. "And you wonder why your family wasn't as successful as mine."

Le Paradox practically threw himself off of his hated rival and tried to look as dignified as possible. "Well, that's only because you Coopers-"

He realized he was talking to himself and turned around just in time to see Sly poke his head in from outside. "Hey, hurry up already."

If it weren't for their mutual goal, Le Paradox would have killed him just for that.


	9. The Plan

_As we near the conclusion to this story, I want to take the chance to give an early thank you to everyone who has stuck with me so far. This has been getting harder and harder for me to write and it's you guys that give me the motivation to keep going. So thanks again._

* * *

Chapter 9: The Plan

As Sly prepared his plan to rob the Sisterhood, he found himself once again missing Bentley. Not only did he lack the turtle's intellectual might, he lacked even a way to develop the photos he had taken and had to settle for drawing lines in the sand with his cane. Not exactly the most professional mission brief. Neema and Le Paradox sat on the other side of him, the former looking excited to be a part of a heist and the latter looking like he'd rather be the one making the plan.

Sly finished sketching a (very) rough outline of the Sisterhood's hideout and cleared his throat to begin. "Alright guys, here's what we're going to do. We know where the cats keep their goods and we also know that the place is locked up tight with a steel door." He pointed his stick to a drawing of a door with a big keyhole symbol on it. "We don't have the time or resources to try to break into that thing, so we're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way."

He next pointed to a crude stick figure with cat ears, a tail, and a mean expression. "I'll track down Isis and pickpocket the key from her. If we're lucky, she won't even notice until I'm long gone."

"Hold on," Le Paradox interrupted. "How do you know Isis has the key? Maybe one of her lieutenants is holding it instead."

Sly shot him a knowing smirk and simply handed him the binocucom. Confused, the skunk put it up to his eyes and immediately saw the picture Sly had taken of the sand cat leader. There was the unmistakable glint of a small metal object sticking out of a wallet on her waist. "So...she has it?" Neema asked, at this point giving up on trying to understand the technology. Le Paradox just grumbled and handed the binocucom back to Sly.

_See? Told you that picture would be useful._ He just barely restrained himself from saying that out loud. "As I was saying, I'll pickpocket the key, then make my way up to the door. That brings us to the next problem. I can't just waltz into that place, it's sure to be watched at all times. That's where you come in, Le Paradox."

The skunk glared at him suspiciously, instantly wondering what kind of asinine plan Cooper had in store for him. No doubt something meant to quietly kill him off while he escaped with the time machine. _Well you're not going to get rid of me that easily. Bring it on, Cooper._

"You're going to create a little distraction for our bandit friends." Sly gestured to what was supposed to be an outline of the walkways inside the hideout, but looked more like an overzealous game of tic-tac-toe, an image that he completed by drawing three X's over certain spots. "I'm no expert on architecture, but if you were to use your rapier to cut the beams here, here, and here, it should bring the whole thing crashing down. That's sure to cause enough chaos for me to sneak into the treasure vault and out again with no one the wiser."

"While _I'm _conveniently stuck at the bottom with a bunch of angry sand cats," Le Paradox said dryly. "Why can't _you _be the distraction?"

"Because my cane isn't sharp enough to slice through those beams. Besides, surely a thief as great as yourself could get out of there unscathed."

Le Paradox, unable to come up with a response that wouldn't make him sound like a wimp, simply glowered at him from across the "drawing board".

"What about me?" Neema asked eagerly. "What's _my_ role in the plan?"

"The same role as last time. You'll stay out here and be lookout."

Her face fell. "What? But all the action is going on inside."

"And so is all of the danger," Sly chastised. "You're not like us, Neema. You don't have the skills to sneak through a den of thieves without being caught. You'll be safest out here."

"But, I-"

"No, Neema!" She finally gave up and her head drooped. He knew he was being a bit harsher than he needed to be, but this was literally a matter of life or death. No, even worse. He wasn't even supposed to be in this time period in the first place, so what would happen if he got someone killed here? What kind of temporal anomaly could that cause? If he wasn't careful, he could end up back in a future where everyone has two heads. He couldn't risk screwing with the timeline anymore than he had already.

The fact that she was really pretty and reminded him of Carmelita had nothing to do with it. Honest.

"Are you done yet?" Le Paradox asked impatiently, already walking over to the cliffside.

Sly took one last look at Neema. She didn't look back.

"Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

And so it was that Sly Cooper and Cyrille Le Paradox were working together once again. This didn't mean they were getting along any better—both parties still saw the other as just a means to an end—but Neema would probably see their willing cooperation as at least _some _kind of progress. Too bad Neema wasn't here right now, because neither of them felt the same way. As soon as they got back into the hideout, they immediately and silently split up to tackle their separate missions.

Sly climbed up to the top of the hideout once more, while keeping his eyes peeled for Isis. It took very little time to find her as she was still in a fit over the incident that morning. The guards went out of their way to keep a wide berth from her, which made his job easier as he simply followed right behind the sand cat leader without anyone noticing. He trained his eyes on the key hanging so temptingly out of her wallet and crept closer and closer. As he did, she began talking to herself, as crime lords had a tendency to do.

"This is the last thing I need right now," she mumbled bitterly. "I thought that if I brought that weird machine back, he would be happy. I mean, who knows how much something like that could go for on the black market? We could make a fortune!" Ignoring her banter, Sly reached out with his cane and attempted to snag the key. Isis turned a corner at the last moment and he mentally swore to himself as it escaped his grasp. "But noooooooo! He's more interested in that stupid raccoon than the priceless treasure he was carrying! Ugh! I'll never understand the gods!"

Sly botched another attempt to grab the key as that bit of monologue made him freeze on the spot. _Oh yeah, Neema mentioned something about the Sisterhood working for a god. Could that really be true? And if so, what does he want with ME? _

Realizing that he had let himself be distracted, Sly snapped back to reality and continued after Isis. The feline left the wooden walkway and stepped off onto the solid ledge surrounding the "pit". Sly was about to follow after her when he saw two sand cat guards appear and had to fall back, crouching behind a thick beam. He waited for these guards to clear out like the rest, but unfortunately for both he and them, they didn't get away fast enough. "You two, come with me!" Isis ordered. The sand cats glanced at each other and gulped, but followed after her regardless. Sly watched Isis, now with two escorts, continue around the perimeter.

_I hate to say this, but I hope Le Paradox is having better luck than me._

* * *

As a matter of fact he was. The skunk had a pretty good idea which beams he needed to slice, even with Cooper's horrendous drawing skills, and had already cut the first without any trouble. It helped that he kept his distance from the guards. He wouldn't acknowledge that his smell greatly hampered his stealth, because that would admit to having a weakness, but he did think it would be better if he remained as far away as possible.

The downside to this was that it was taking him a good while longer to get to his next destination than it would have taken Cooper, which he also didn't acknowledge. Unaware that the raccoon was being held up as well, Le Paradox became more reckless in his desire to outdo his rival. That recklessness got him to the next beam quicker, but also brought him just a little too close to a nearby guard.

"Hey, what's that smell?" Le Paradox froze. He was currently standing in the middle of a walkway, too far away to escape up another ladder, and too high up to jump off. So as the guard climbed up behind him to investigate, he had no choice but to give her a sharp kick to the head. She fell backwards off the ladder and Le Paradox crouched low to the wooden surface as he heard her hit the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Looks like she's unconscious."

"What a clutz, falling off the ladder like that."

"Seriously. She's gonna need another crash course in basic thievery when she wakes up."

The skunk sighed in relief. That was too close. He stood back up and looked around frantically, not for more guards, but for Cooper. He could practically _feel _the other thief silently judging him from above.

He tried to put that out of his mind as he cut the second beam and headed for the third. _I know you've had setbacks like this too, Cooper. Don't even TRY to tell me otherwise._

* * *

Sly panted heavily to himself as he hid behind a stack of crates. The two sand cats that had been following Isis lied unconscious at his feet. The leader herself was too focused on her ranting to notice that she was no longer talking to anyone. That lack of attention was exactly what he needed, if only he could get that damn key already.

Sly took one last deep breath to calm his nerves and shot out of his hiding place again. As he snuck up behind Isis, he was once again close enough to overhear her. "I just don't get it! If he has all of these amazing magical devices at his disposal, why does he care about something as petty as thievery? Surely a bunch of lowly desert bandits can't offer him much." She stopped in place, almost making Sly bump into her swinging tail. "I guess I shouldn't complain. He has given us so much already. Who are we to question a divine being?" Still as she was, Sly had no trouble sneaking his cane into her pocket and snagging the key. He couldn't resist the urge to hold the object up into the air triumphantly.

_Yes! Finally! Now to get out of here and-_

A tremendous crash echoed through the cavern. It's source was clear, as Sly could plainly see the structure of walkways in front of him shudder and collapse to the ground. Coinciding with this were the panicked screams of multiple sand cats. Le Paradox must have completed his mission, but at the worst possible time.

Sly knew he was in a dilemma now. In a few seconds, Isis would do one of two things. Either she would turn around and spot him instantly, or she would call out to the other sand cats below, allowing them to take notice of the raccoon standing behind their leader. Neither option was appeasing to him, so he took a third.

He raised his cane slightly higher and pushed Isis over the side.

The bandit leader let out a loud, feline screech as she fell. The others, stuck in a state of panic over the collapsed walkways, didn't even notice. Sly wasted no more time in getting over to the treasure vault. As he predicted, there were no guards in sight. He was not alone however. "I see you've finally made it," Le Paradox said, leaning casually against the metal door. "What, you weren't expecting me to actually make it up here?"

In all honesty, he wasn't. Nor was he happy that he did. It wasn't that Sly genuinely wanted to cheat Le Paradox out of returning to the present, but he also didn't want to have to deal with the inevitable dispute once they found the time machine. _Oh well, might as well get this over with._

With only a snort in response, Sly walked past Le Paradox and up to the door. He quickly jammed the key into the lock and gave it a sharp twist. There was a loud click, which was completely drowned out by the chaos from below, and Sly pushed the door open.

The room inside made his jaw drop. There were piles of treasure everywhere he looked. The whole place was a thief's wet dream. Le Paradox had a similar reaction as he edged his way towards a particularly shiny diamond. Sly grabbed his wrist just before he could grab it. "Don't do it. Bentley told me about this kind of thing before. If we take anything that we're not supposed to, we could change the future drastically."

"And how could that make things any worse for me?"

"You wanna find out?" Le Paradox bit his lip and glanced back and forth between Sly and the diamond, before finally relenting. "Fine. Let's just find that time machine already."

They scoured the rest of the vault, struggling to resist temptation, until Sly caught a glimpse of metal. "There it is!" he called out and sprinted straight for the machine. But as he lifted the device into his paws and examined it, he immediately noticed something unusual. "What the-?

"What is it?" Le Paradox asked nervously as he came up behind him. "Don't tell me those primitive felines wrecked my machine even further."

"No, it's not that," Sly said in disbelief. "It..it's fixed."

"What?!" The skunk grabbed it out of his paws, Sly too astounded to stop him. Indeed, the time machine was now functioning perfectly, all of the components in their proper place, and lights blinking on and off to await input. "That's impossible! How did _those _idiots fix it when _I _couldn't?!"

"We can worry about that later. Right now, let's just get the heck out of here." He saw Le Paradox start to pull the machine away. "Do you really want to fight over this thing again? Now? When we're the middle of an enemy hideout?"

"You...have a point," he conceded. He turned his attention to the machine, where he started pressing buttons and flipping switches. "Let's see...Paris, France...a few hundred years from now...alright, let's-"

He was cut off by a piercing shriek from outside. It wasn't feline.


	10. Sacrifice

_Ah, THIS chapter. I've been looking forward to writing THIS chapter for a while. It's a bit shorter than usual, but I think you'l see why. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 10: Sacrifice

"Neema!" Sly raced out of the vault as soon as he heard the scream. The fact that Le Paradox could have easily left him behind right there didn't even slow him down. He would never be able to return to the present in good conscience with an innocent's blood on his paws. Fortunately for him, Le Paradox was curious enough that he chose to halt the machine and follow him out.

Sly reached the edge of the cliff first and looked down. Isis and the assembled forces of the Sisterhood were staring up at him, looking far too numerous to take on. Worst of all, Isis had Neema at knifepoint. "My, my, this all seems familiar, doesn't it? You really need to keep better track of your friends, Slytunkhamen."

"Let her go!" Sly shouted, a bit more forcibly than he had intended.

Isis just rolled her eyes. "This again? Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of predictable?"

Sly ignored the smug glance from Le Paradox and calmed himself down. Losing control now would only make things worse. 'What are your terms?"

"Luckily for you, I don't have another moral dilemma for you to mull over. All I want is you to surrender yourself to us."

"Deal," Sly said instantly.

"No!" Neema yelled.

Isis smiled. "Good. Now come down here, would you? And while you're at it, bring the weird machine. You won't be needing it anymore."

Sly was about to respond when he felt a sharp kick to his backside. He stumbled forward just a bit, but it was enough for him to fall completely over the edge. Spinning himself around in midair, he thrust his cane into the wall, slowing his fall just enough for him to reach the bottom safely. As safe as you could be surrounded by a few dozen bandits anyway.

"I beg to differ," Le Paradox said darkly, sneering down at them. "Do whatever you want with those two, but _I'm _getting out of here!"

Sly snarled at him furiously. "Le Paradox, you-!"

"What? Did you think we were buddies now? That I was going to risk being stranded here for the sake of you and fox girl? I was willing to take you along before only because it happened to be more convenient, but now that you've put yourself on a sinking ship, I've decided I'm not going to sink with you."

"Cute little speech, but you're not going anywhere," Isis said calmly. "Ladies, go get him please."

As Le Paradox started priming the time machine again, the Sisterhood of the Sand flung themselves onto the wall and started climbing up to him, using a combination of their weapons and their claws to scale the cliff at remarkable speed. Swift as they were though, Sly could tell that they would never make it in time. The machine was already starting to power up, glowing with blue light and producing a faint hum. As a last resort, Sly pulled him arm back and flung his cane straight at Le Paradox's head.

His aim was true.

But it didn't matter.

Right before the cane would've struck him, the skunk's arm shot up and grabbed it out of the air. "What's this? A parting gift? How lovely." Sly's face fell in horror as Le Paradox casually tapped the cane against his shoulder. The glow and the hum of the time machine got more intense and Sly could just barely make out his sinister grin. "It's been fun Sly Cooper, but you know that only one of us could win in the end and it's not going to be you. Au revoir!"

The skunk laughed maniacally as the glow got so bright that it enveloped him completely. A second later and he was gone.

The Sisterhood all gasped at his sudden disappearance, looking around frantically. Even Isis had a look of utter shock on her face. Sly didn't see any of this. He had completely tuned out everything else after Le Paradox vanished. Just like that, all hopes of returning to the present, of seeing his friends again, of making up with Carmelita, were gone for good. He was dead to the world at this point, just staring down at the ground in silence. He didn't even notice as the sand cats eventually recovered and surrounded him.

"Oh well, no great loss. This is the one we really wanted," Isis grinned, releasing Neema who immediately ran over to Sly's side.

He flinched a little as she wrapped her arms around him but otherwise didn't react. "Slytunkhamen, I'm so sorry! I just wanted to be a part of the heist! I didn't mean to ruin everything for you!"

"It's not your fault," he finally managed to say, though his voice was low and monotone. And truly it wasn't her fault, it was his. It was his fault for letting his emotions get in the way of the mission and for letting Le Paradox out of his sight. Now he had lost everything.

"Oh you poor thing, you look frightfully pathetic," Isis mocked. He didn't have the energy to respond. "Seize them."

"Slytunkhamen!" Neema called out again as she was dragged away. Sly finally snapped back to his senses and made a move to go after her, but a well-placed club to the back of his head ended any chance of resistance and he passed out.

* * *

As Sly came to again, he immediately felt the wind against his fur and knew that they were no longer inside. Indeed, when his eyes opened, the only thing he could see was the night sky. He attempted to get up and quickly found that he could not. Tilting his head up to look around, he saw that his wrists and ankles had been firmly restrained by thick leather bands and he was lying on top of a stone alter. He looked to his left and saw Neema in a similar position, though she was not yet awake. They were both placed in the middle of the canyon, surrounded by the Sisterhood.

_Okay, definitely not the best situation I've gotten myself in._

There was a light groaning from his left, and he turned to see Neema starting to wake up herself. "Ugh...where am I?"

Sly tried to answer her, but Isis cut him off, casually leaning over the fox. "So you're finally awake, are you? I didn't think we hit you _that _hard."

"What are you going to do to us?" Sly demanded.

She looked at him with complete indifference. "Us? We're not going to do a thing. Our god has commanded us to offer you as sacrifice. Your manner of execution will be entirely up to him." It now occurred to him that the other sand cats weren't just standing around. Some were pounding on ceremonial drums in repetition, while others crouched low to the ground in silent prayer.

_Oh yeah, this is bad. _

"Then what do you need Neema for? If I'm the only one he wants, then let her go!"

She put a claw to her chin, as if in serious in contemplation. "Hmmmm...no. I think we'll keep her around just in case you try anything funny. If you're lucky, perhaps the divine one will show her mercy." She leaned in close to him and grinned wickedly. "But I sincerely doubt it."

Sly could've sworn he saw a large shadow quickly pass by overhead as Isis continued to taunt him. "You thought you were so clever, didn't you? When you bashed me in the face and ran off with our loot? Well who's laughing now? By the end of today, the Sisterhood of the Sand will be more powerful than ever, while you and your little friend will be nothing but dried out husks buried under this miserable desert."

The shadow passed by again, lower this time. Sly knew he wasn't imagining it because the Sisterhood noticed it as well and the beats on their drums started to get louder and faster. Despite the odds, he remained confident. Even if this really was a god, he had outwitted many mortal adversaries in the past. Who said he couldn't do the same to a divine one?

The shadowy figure appeared once more, turning in mid-air and diving down towards them. Sly, Neema, and the sand cats all had to close or cover their eyes as the giant kicked up a huge cloud of sand upon its landing. As the sand cleared, it slowly stood up to full height, towering over the two prisoners. It was close enough to be seen clearly now, and its face was a familiar one.

_No...it can't be..._

All of Sly's confidence drained away in an instant, replaced by an intense feeling of terror and dread that he thought he had experienced for the last time. So many things made sense now: Why the Sisterhood's god had wanted them to steal for him, why their hideout was more technologically advanced than it should have been, and how they had managed to repair the time machine. He knew now that he was facing no god.

No, he was _much_ worse than that.

"...Clockwerk?"

The metallic owl reared his head back and let loose a screech that rippled across the canyon.


	11. Ancestry

_Only two chapters left after this. I actually wanted to have twelve chapters total in this story for the sake of the whole time motif, but sometimes these things just don't work out. _

* * *

Chapter 11: Ancestry

When Sly woke up this morning, he thought the worst thing that could happen to him today was being stranded in the past forever. Not only had that already happened, but now he was actually in an even _worse _situation. Tied down, without either his cane or gadgets, at the complete mercy of Clockwerk of all people. He used to have nightmares about this exact scenario and that familiarity didn't make this any easier.

No, he thought as he glanced back to his left, this was scarier than the nightmares. In those he was always alone, while here Neema was going to suffer with him. There was no chance of Clockwerk simply letting her go. He was more likely to torture her to death in front of him just to hurt him more. The fox remained quiet, but not out of bravery. She was simply so terrified that she was completely unable to speak. He couldn't blame her. The mechanical owl must have been even more frightening to the people of this primitive era.

Or awe-inspiring, as was the case with the Sisterhood of the Sand, who immediately knelt down in reverence of him as soon as he landed. "Oh Divine One, we have brought you the foolish raccoon, as you requested," Isis spoke, bowing down as well.

Clockwerk didn't even seem to notice her. His soulless gaze was focused only on him. **"Slytunkhamen Cooper," **he spoke in that cold, computerized voice. **"Finally I have you in my grasp. You fell into my trap as easily as a moth to a flame. Do you know who I am?" **

"Clockwerk," Sly spat back. "Scourge of the Cooper Clan."

His metallic face made it hard to portray emotion, but the owl actually seemed surprised. **"I didn't think my name would spread among your line so quickly. I have only but begun to fulfill my desire for vengeance."**

_That's right. THIS Clockwerk hasn't met most of my ancestors yet, including my father. _

That revelation made it easier for Sly to calm down a bit. "You have, and you will continue it for a while, but ultimately you will fail."

**"Is that a fact?" **

"It is actually. You just don't know it yet."

He was not impressed.** "From your position, it appears I have little to fear. Once I have erased you Slytunkhamen Cooper, your family will crumble." **

No it wouldn't, because he was not Slytunkhamen Cooper. Clockwerk could kill him right now and it would change nothing. The real Slytunkhamen would still be a great thief in this era, and the Cooper line would continue. Sly himself would still be born in the distant future, where he would grow up to destroy Clockwerk for good. Nothing that happened to him now mattered.

The only one he was worried about now was Neema, and to keep her safe, he needed to draw all of Clockwerk's attention to himself. Hardly a difficult task. "I'm not so sure about that," he said as casually as possible. It was the kind of attitude he always used to tick off Carmelita and he had little doubt it would work on Clockwerk as well. "We Coopers have a real knack for always popping back up again. Like weeds."

**"Or cockroaches." **Clockwerk leaned in closer, so his beak was mere inches away from Sly's face. It took all of the raccoon's mental focus to remain calm. **"I suppose we'll just have to find out how well I can exterminate you." **His head reared back and Sly shut his eyes, waiting for the metal beak to pierce his skull.

"No!" Neema couldn't remain silent any longer. Unfortunately, she chose a very poor time to speak up.

Clockwerk paused and turned his head towards her. **"And who is this girl?"**

"Nobody. She just followed me here." Sly said, unable to keep all the fear out of his voice.

"On the contrary," Isis said, stepping towards them. "He seems to be quite attached to her. Why, he would do _anything _to keep that girl safe." She took no small amount of pleasure from seeing the look of horror on Sly's face.

Clockwerk chuckled, a sound that was somehow even more menacing coming from his monotone voice. **"In that case, perhaps I should play with this one first."**

Sly was panicking now, but he dared not say anything else. The more he protested, the worse this would be for her. He turned his head away, not wanting to see whatever this monster did to her. _How could this all go so wrong? __I'm sorry, Neema._

**"Now then, what should I start with? The arms? The legs? The-AHHH!"** Sly turned his head back around as an explosion lit up Clockwerk's face. Caught by surprise, the owl stumbled back a few feet from the blast.

The Sisterhood panicked and fled at the sight, quickly clearing the area. The only one who remained was Isis, shouting after her retreating brethren. "Hey! Where are you going?! You cowards!"

Sly and Neema both watched all of this in confusion, wondering what could have caused all that. That question didn't go unanswered for long, as Sly soon felt the ropes on his wrists being undone and looked up at his savior. "Le Paradox?"

"Bonjour," the skunk replied unenthusiastically. Sly noticed that he was back in his original pilot's outfit and that his cane hung from his back.

But that was the least of his concerns, as Clockwerk had already recovered. **"An impressive surprise attack, but I will not be so easily beaten." **Seeing that he couldn't free Sly fast enough, Le Paradox aimed his weapon, an almost comically large rocket launcher. Clockwerk raised his wings in front of him to shield himself from the blast, but Le Paradox didn't aim for him this time. He aimed for the cliff face above him, causing a small rockslide that buried the owl under several layers of stone.

"Clever diversion," Sly complimented. "You're thinking like a Cooper."

"Don't make me regret this any more than I already am," he said bitterly as he went back to working on Sly's bonds.

"So why exactly _are _you helping me anyway?"

"Oh, I get it!" Neema said excitedly, promptly forgetting all about the fate she had narrowly avoided. "You felt guilty about leaving your partner behind, and so you came back to make amends!"

Sly, now freed, sat up and shared a look with Le Paradox.

Then they both burst out laughing.

"Oh, that's a good one!" Le Paradox cried.

"Yeah, like that would happen!" Sly laughed along. As they both quieted down, Sly reached up and wiped a tear from his eye. "No seriously, why are you helping me?"

He sighed. "Evidently, you were right when you said that small changes in the past can change the future drastically. With your untimely death and your cane in my possession, I somehow managed to erase you and the entire Cooper Clan from existence." Sly's eyes widened.

_Holy crap, seriously?! So much for my death not mattering. That was a close one..._

"But...isn't that what you always wanted?"

"I thought so, but I did not consider the consequences. Without the Cooper Clan, _my _family did not rise to prominence either! I guess we've always existed to be rivals to you, even from the beginning."

Sly thought back to when he and Bentley were first looking up information on Le Paradox. Cyrille and his ancestors dated back almost as far as his own, and he distinctly recalled seeing one that looked like he came from this same era. Perhaps hearing about his "death" had shaken the real Slythunkhamen Cooper enough to quit the thieving business for good, and with no one to compete with, the ancient Le Paradox had grown bored and quit as well.

"So our families are connected. One cannot exist without the other. History dictates that we must always be rivals. " _Even if your family isn't good enough for us to even acknowledge. _

"Exactly. In the future we came from, I was a failed criminal. In this future, I was _nothing_. If I'm going to kill you Cooper, I will do it back in our own time!"

Neema, who had no earthly clue what either of them were talking about, finally noticed that she was still tied down. "Uh...guys? A little help here?"

Le Paradox passed Sly his cane, and he used its hooked tip to quickly free Neema from the ropes. "I hid the time machine back on top of the cliff," Le Paradox explained. "I didn't want any of those mangy cats wrecking it again while I was trying to save you."

"Alright, then let's find it and get out of here before-"

**"Cooper!" **A hail of rocks flew everywhere as Clockwerk freed himself and set his sights back on the raccoon.

"Before that happens." Sly readied his cane, knowing he was in for the fight of his life.

"What should I do now?" Neema asked.

"Find someplace to hide and let us handle this."

"But-" Sly gave her a hard look. "R-Right. I'll hide." She ran off and Sly felt a huge weight taken off of his shoulder knowing that he didn't have to worry about her anymore. Sly and Le Paradox brandished their respective weapons and slowly backed away as Clockwerk advanced.

"Just what is that thing anyway?" Le Paradox asked.

"Clockwerk. Evil psychotic owl. Turned himself into a machine. _Really _hates my family."

"Sounds like me."

"You wish."

"So how old is he then?"

"Perfection has no age," Sly said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Clockwerk's beak froze half-open, clearly about to say the same thing. The sight would've been almost funny if the situation weren't so dire.

"Go for the time machine. I'll keep him distracted," Sly ordered.

The skunk looked at him like he was crazy, which he probably was. "Are you sure? I'm the one with the rocket launcher here."

"And I'm the one he'll go after if we split up. You just know that machine better than I do."

"Very well. Let me just get a little head start." Without warning, he fired another rocket at Clockwerk. This time, the owl knew what was coming and swiftly dodged out of the way of the projectile. "Sorry, that was the last one. Good luck, Cooper!" Le Paradox promptly dropped the weapon and made a run for it. Predictably, Clockwerk made no move to go after him when he had a Cooper in his sights.

Isis had other ideas. "Oh no you don't!" The sand cat leader screamed as she tore past Sly and after Le Paradox. Sly cursed to himself, having completely forgotten she was still here. He hoped that Le Paradox could handle himself alone, but any concern for him was pushed to the side for the time being. Now he had Clockwerk to deal with, and all he had to face him with this time was his trusty cane.

_How hard can it be? I've kicked his butt twice already. I'm a pro at this by now._

He took a deep breath and twirled his cane around, pointing it at the face of his greatest nemesis. "You want me, Clockwerk? Then come and get me!"


	12. Escape

_And the final battles come to a close with a nice, lengthy chapter. Stay tuned for a not-so-lengthy epilogue. _

* * *

Chapter 12: Escape

It was no surprise that Clockwerk attacked first. Sly ducked as talons sharp enough to chop down trees sailed over his head. He raised his cane to block a second strike of the talons and rolled underneath the owl as he flew overhead. Clockwerk turned himself around and narrowed his robotic eyes at the raccoon. No, not at Sly, at his cane. **"I knew something was strange about you. That is not the cane of Slytunkhamen Cooper. Who are you?"**

Sly sure as heck wasn't about to give him more information about the Cooper Clan and so he said nothing. **"No matter. You are plainly a Cooper and so your fate is sealed. I do not need to know the name of every one of you vermin that I squash." **From his position in the air, Clockwerk spread his wings and unleashed a swarm of purple fireballs from turrets along his body. Sly dodged around them as best he could, spinning his cane to deflect the last few.

_I really wish I had Carmelita's jetpack right now. _It hadn't occurred to him just how much harder this fight would be without any way of getting airborne. Clockwerk was no doubt aware of this as well and so remained where he was, shooting more and more fireballs at him and even a few of those floating electric rings he was so strangely fond of.

Sly grunted as one of those rings singed his tail a bit while he jumped through it. One thing was certain, he needed a plan, and fast!

* * *

"Now where did I put that blasted thing?" Le Paradox mumbled to himself as he searched around the top of the cliff. He thought he had memorized the location where he had hidden the time machine, but now he was drawing a blank. _Overwhelmed by his own genius, of course. It happens to the best of us._

"Looking for something?" The skunk whirled around and saw Isis standing in front of him, smugly holding the device he sought in one paw. She tossed it up and down a bit, making him wince. "Valuable, isn't it? I see we made a wise choice in deciding to pocket it."

"You don't even know what 'it' is!"

"Who cares? Technology of this caliber will make us filthy rich no matter what it does. Besides, the divine one seems to be perfectly aware. He even told us he has a plan to pull off the ultimate heist using that device." His gaze shifted a bit to Clockwerk, just out of the corner of his eye.

_That creepy bird wanted to travel through time? Probably to filch profits from the future. That's just like MY plan, but in reverse! How dare he!_

Thoroughly pissed off at this other thief for stealing his plan (though technically the owl had came up with it first), Le Paradox drew his rapier and struck.

Isis swiftly dodged away and landed a few feet to his left. "Careful now. It took us long enough to repair this thing, even with the divine one's instruction." She placed the time machine on the ground and gingerly patted it. "We wouldn't want to break it all over again." Isis stood up to full height and withdrew her twin khopesh blades. "Right now, I'm only interested in breaking _you._"

She leapt forward and brought her blades down on Le Paradox, who parried the strike with his rapier. He went right on the offensive, striking swiftly with his lighter weapon. Isis used her twin blades to block his attacks, but couldn't find any opening to slash back at him. Instead, she used the hook of one khopesh to push the skunk's weapon to the side, then flipped the other one around in her paws and struck him across the face with the blunt end. The fact that Cooper had used a similar move on him just days before made it hurt all the worse.

Le Paradox was knocked hard to the ground. As Isis came in to strike again, he spied the time machine lying nearby, snatched it up, and held it in front of him like a shield. It was a risky move, but a risk he was willing to take.

As he had hoped, Isis froze mid-strike, not wanting to damage the machine she intended to make herself rich with. In that moment of hesitation, Le Paradox kicked her legs out from under her and rolled away as she tripped. One khopesh fell from her grasp and embedded itself into the ground a few feet away. The other was perfectly fine however, as she demonstrated by nicking the skunk's arm as he got back up. He hissed in pain, resisting the urge to grab his arm as Isis came at him again.

His injured arm slowed his movements enough for it to still be an even fight. With the shape of the feline's weapon and the tactical way she fought, Le Paradox couldn't help but be reminded of Cooper. That reminder was the last thing he needed right now. _Hmm...or perhaps not. _

Isis took a slash across her chest, surprised by a sudden surge of aggression from her opponent. She couldn't understand why he was suddenly fighting her so viciously when his style had been so much more refined before. It wasn't just anger, it was a torrent of resentfulness so overpowering that she was completely unable to keep up. There was no chance of him letting up either. Le Paradox had now envisioned his opponent as Sly Cooper and he wasn't about to leave the raccoon any opening to strike back.

He jabbed her in the gut with his sword's handle, then slashed her arm, making her scream and drop her own weapon. "Damn! Where's my other sword?!" she yelled, backing away from Le Paradox as she searched around frantically.

"Right here!"

The second khopesh came out of nowhere and struck Isis in the face with the blunt end. The feline was knocked clear over the edge of the cliff, her screams echoing up as she fell.

"Guess I picked a bad hiding spot, huh?" Neema asked innocently, holding the bloodstained blade behind her back with a wide grin.

_Yikes, this girl is scarier than Isis._

* * *

Sly panted as another stream of fire came at him, and he dodged to the side. His reflexes were definitely starting to slow as this blast caught fire to a piece of his Shendyt and he had to quickly stop to pat it out. He still had no idea how he was supposed to fight back here. He knew his cane was capable of hurting Clockwerk, but that meant nothing if he couldn't get close enough to use it.

A loud screech came from his right and he turned to see Isis tumbling down the side of the cliff head over heels. She bounced off of a rock near the bottom, flipped around in mid-air, and landed with a soft thud right at his feet.

"Are you okay?" Sly asked. He was being genuine, but she clearly didn't take it that way as she snarled and took a swing at him, making him jump back.

"That is_ it!_" she screamed, swinging her blades at him in blind rage. Sly continued to back away slowly from her frenzied attacks. "You imbeciles have humiliated me for the last time! I'm going to rip you apart, raccoon! You're mine!"

**"No!"**

Isis didn't have enough time to so much as turn her head before the massive form of Clockwerk came down on top of her. Sly shielded his eyes as this kicked up another cloud of sand into his face. When it cleared, he saw Clockwerk standing right in front of him. The owl swept a giant wing and, unprepared, he took it full force, tumbling back a few more feet.

**"I am the only one who gets to kill you," **said Clockwerk, stepping out of the small crater his impact had created. In the middle of that crater he saw the motionless form of Isis. Her neck had been broken on impact.

Sly hadn't exactly been a fan of the sand cat leader, but he was disgusted nonetheless. "What kind of god murders his own followers, Clockwerk?"

**"I have no interest in being a god. My only desire is your demise."** He took to the skies once more and glared down at him. **"Why do you think I recruited these fools in the first place? I knew that if I built up a powerful band of thieves, Slytunkhamen Cooper would take notice and come out of hiding. Even if I didn't get the correct Cooper, I still lured one of you into my grasp. You Coopers are so predictable."**

"I'm getting really sick of hearing that," Sly growled. Right on cue, he spotted Le Paradox and Neema on top of the cliff. The skunk held the time machine in one paw and used the others to make a series of signals. He pointed to the time machine, gave a thumbs-up, pointed to Sly, and then the ground he was standing on. The message was silent, but abundantly clear: "The time machine is ready, so get your butt up here now!"

Sly signaled him back, pointing to himself, then Clockwerk, then the cliff, and dragged a finger across his throat. "How do you expect me to climb up there without getting killed by _this _lunatic?" his message asked. Le Paradox rolled his eyes and disappeared from view, not exactly a reassuring answer. Neema just shrugged.

Sly gave a yelp as a fireball just missed his foot. **"I have lived for hundreds of years, and I will live for hundreds more to see your clan wiped out, Cooper. I will not be ignored." **

"Then come down and fight me, you coward!" Sly hissed.

**"I see no need," **Clockwerk replied, completely unphased by his taunt. **"Soon you will tire, and then I will take my vengeance. You cannot dodge me forever. I will-AGGH!"**

Sly couldn't tell what had happened at first. He saw a black blur out of the corner of his eye and then Clockwerk just seemed to suddenly veer to the right as sparks flew from his wing. As his erratic flight turned him around, he saw the cause: Le Paradox had just stabbed his rapier into the owl's wing.

Under normal circumstances, such a blade couldn't hope to pierce that metal plating, but the skunk gaining momentum from leaping off of the cliff combined with the relatively weaker protection on Clockwerk's wings allowed it to penetrate. Having already made a hole, Le Paradox pulled his rapier back out and stabbed it in again, deeper. Clockwerk let out another scream as he started to lose altitude, his right wing failing to function. Sly dove to the ground and the owl soared right over top of him, crashing a short distance away. Le Paradox jumped off at the last second and landed right next to him, looking more than a little smug. "Okay, I'll admit it. That was pretty badass."

"You bet it was," he smirked.

"Hey, guys!" They both looked up to see Neema yelling to them from the top of the cliff, holding the time machine under one arm. "This doohickey started getting all loud and flashy. That's good, right?"

"You bet it's good!" Sly answered. "Get down here as quick as you can. We've just got a little something to take care of first." He looked to Le Paradox, who nodded back at him as they both turned to face off with Clockwerk. The owl was back on his feet, though his right wing was still sparking.

**"You will not escape me, Cooper. Not you, nor your little friend."**

"Just to be clear, we are _not _friends!" Le Paradox insisted. "It just happens to be my best interest not to kill him. Yet."

"I love you too, buddy," Sly said sarcastically. "Now let's take this guy down."

Clockwerk let out a cry befitting of a bird of prey and unleashed more projectiles at the duo. Eerily in sync, the two thieves charged forward, ducking and weaving the shots as they closed in. Clockwerk raised one taloned foot and brought it down on Sly as he drew near. His cane proved as formidable a shield as ever as he held it above his head and blocked the razor-sharp talons. But Clockwerk was nothing if not persistent and he continued to press down on him, making him grunt in exertion. Strong as he was, Sly couldn't hope to hold him back for long.

Luckily, he didn't have to. Le Paradox ducked under the owl's wing and dug his rapier into the joint of his other leg. The injury he created was minor, but it was enough to make Clockwerk reel back in surprise. Sly pushed up on his cane as he hard as he could and the bird was toppled onto his back. Sly wasted no time in leaping on top of him and went straight for his head. He swung his cane once, twice, three times, the third blow shattering one of his glass eyes. Clockwerk screamed in rage and pushed himself up with his other wing, knocking Sly off. That left him wide open for Le Paradox to stab his unharmed wing, this time aiming for the spot where the wing connected to his torso.

The strike worked even better than expected. The left wing was damaged much like the right and Clockwerk swayed back and forth, having a good deal of trouble maintaining his balance now. "Le Paradox, throw me up!" Sly shouted, rushing for the skunk. Surprised but not unprepared, Le Paradox cupped his paws together and threw Sly upwards. He flew right above Clockwerk's head and held up his cane. "Now stay out of my future!" As he descended, he thrust the cane straight down...right into Clockwerk's skull.

**"Cooper!" **Clockwerk fell once more, but he wouldn't be getting up very quickly this time. Both of his wings were malfunctioning, one of his eyes was gone, and Sly's cane was still jutting out of his forehead. His body twitched and spasmed, letting out sparks every which way. His brain was left a bit scrambled as well. "**You will...not escape...my...hamsters..."**

One master thief was able to defeat Clockwerk. Two master thieves had completely kicked the crap out of him.

"Is it over?" Le Paradox asked warily.

"No. His auto-repair functions will kick in and fully restore him. That's why we've got to get out here."

**"I want your...tamagotchi..."**

Neema finally made it down to them. "Okay you two, here's your...whatever this is."

Le Paradox eyed it readily. "Yes, it still works! Cooper, let's get going!"

"Hold on, I just gotta get my cane." Sly carefully approached the fallen Clockwerk and reached for the cane stuck in his head.

**"...always haunt you..."**

He froze. "...What?"

**"...never...have peace..."**

"Hurry up, already! Before I change my mind!"

But Sly didn't hear him. His focus was drawn to what Clockwerk had said, scarily accurate as it was. Indeed, Clockwerk would always haunt him. Even in his own time, when the owl had been destroyed for good, he still remembered him vividly. Still had the occasional nightmare about being that young kit all over again, forced to watch as Clockwerk killed his father in front of him. Would he ever be rid of him for good?

Sly caught sight of the owl again, struggling helplessly in front of him, and his grip tightened around his cane. _Maybe...maybe I can be._

"Cooper, what is the hold up?!"

"I'm going to kill him."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm going to kill him," he repeated. Sly's demeanor had changed dramatically, taking on a low, dark tone. "This monster has stalked my ancestors for centuries, he killed my father, he's been nothing but a stain on the entire Cooper history! I can prevent _all _of that. All I have to do is kill him right here, right now."

**"I killed your...library?"**

That particular error only made Sly angrier as he raised his cane above the owl's head again, ready to drive it all the way through this time, to destroy the dreaded hate chip that kept him alive.

His arm was stopped mid-swing and he turned around, expecting to see Neema's worried eyes. What he actually saw was the calm gaze of Le Paradox. "Look, I understand your desire to change the past, but you know as well as I do that there are severe consequences to that. Why do you think you need to change it anyway? Look where you are now! You've beaten this birdbrain in the future, not to mention me. You've become an excellent thief just fine without your damned father around. Just leave him be, Sly."

It was a personal and heartfelt speech, one that Sly highly doubted would ever come out of the skunk's mouth again. In the face of such an anomaly, he was shocked back to his senses. "You're right...let's just go," he said softly.

Le Paradox led him back over to where Neema held the time machine, and he swiftly snatched it away from her. "Okay...can't believe I have to this again...there we go! It's ready!"

Neema shuffled her feet anxiously. "So...I guess this is goodbye?"

Sly nodded. "Yeah, I'm afraid so. I've got to get back to my t-er, my home."

"You don't have to hide it anymore," she smiled. "Time travel, I get it now. I have no clue idea it's possible, but I get it. So you were never really Slythunkhamen Cooper, were you?"

Despite everything, he smiled back. "No. It's just Sly. Lot less of a mouthful, huh?"

She laughed. "It sure is. So nothing that happens between us right now really matters, right?"

"Uh...yeah, that's right," Sly said, a bit unsure where this was going. He found out quickly as Neema abruptly pulled him close and kissed him full on the lips.

Le Paradox raised an eyebrow. After a few seconds, Neema released a wide-eyed Sly and giggled. "Well, see you around." She turned around and ran off before he could say a word.

"Better not tell your future, sort-of girlfriend about this," Le Paradox grinned.

"Yeah...probably a good idea."

**"Cooper!" **Clockwerk rose to his feet again, his auto-repair process completed.

Le Paradox jumped. "Oh, you've gotta be-okay, start it up, start it up," he muttered rapidly as he activated the machine. Just like before, it started to release a blue glow and a hum that both gradually increased in intensity. "Hold on tight!"

Sly didn't need to be told twice and grabbed the machine with both paws. He had come too far to simply slip off.

Clockwerk took to the sky, stared down at the duo, and dove frighteningly fast towards them.

Sly felt the time machine began to vibrate and he had to shut his eyes as the glow became blinding. If only he could do the same for his poor ears right now. The hum was getting extremely loud now, but not loud enough to drown out the enraged voice of Clockwerk.

**"You will not escape me, Cooper! You will never escape me! Clockwerk is superior! CLOCKWERK IS-!" **

Sly felt himself being yanked off of his feet and they both vanished.


	13. Paradox

_That was quick, huh?_

_Anyway, this is the final chapter of Not So Predictable. Thank you to everyone who stuck with me as I took freaking forever to write a 13-chapter story. __Now for a bit of news. Once upon a time, this was going to be its own individual story with a firmly wrapped-up conclusion. Well after some input from fellow user "brave kid", I've decided to eventually make a sequel. That said, the ending is…a little different from what was originally intended. _

_Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 13: Paradox

The trip back to the present was a lot more intense than Sly expected. That made perfect sense of course. In most of his other excursions through time, he had been sitting comfortably in the Cooper van, while now he had to hold on for dear life to a piece of metal barely larger than a breadbox. But soon enough, the bright flashes of light ceased, the deafening hum quieted, and the duo found themselves standing on a dock back in modern-day Paris.

At last they were home.

Sly just stood there for several moments, leaning over and panting. Though he didn't need to hold onto the time machine anymore, his grip on it had not loosened. "Well...that was...an experience."

"You're telling me," Le Paradox said dryly. "I had to go through it twice already."

Sly finally calmed down enough to release the time machine and take a look around. "Wow. All that time wandering the desert really makes you appreciate good ol' Paris."

"I don't know. It doesn't look quite as appealing as I remember it," Le Paradox said bitterly. Sly wondered what he was talking about until he remembered that the city used to be covered in the skunk's image.

Several moments of awkward silence passed between them, as neither was quite sure what to say next. Finally, Sly took a deep breath. "Le Paradox...thank you."

He snorted. "For what? Saving your stripey tail from that owl? You've already saved _me _before, so consider us even. I can't stand the thought of having some filthy Cooper indebted to me." Just like that, it appeared that the skunk was back to his old self, as if his touching moment persuading him not to finish off Clockwerk had never happened. It was probably for the best. Sly wouldn't know what to do with him if he was still acting like that.

"So what about this?" Sly asked, holding up the time machine. "I hope you're not planning to pull off any more temporal heists against my family."

"Never again. That machine is way too dangerous for its own good. On that note..." He promptly grabbed the machine, lifted it above his head, and smashed it into the ground. Not quite satisfied with that, he then picked up the pieces and chucked them into the river.

Sly nodded in approval. "Good idea. Let's both give time travel a wide berth from now on."

"Indeed," Le Paradox stared back at him. "When I crush you, I will do it in this era only."

"Good luck with that," Sly grinned. "We Coopers are a real pain to crush."

"Oh, I'm well aware. You'd best keep a look out for me, Cooper. The next time we meet, I'll show you who the _real _master thief is. Au revior!" Not one for long goodbyes, Le Paradox threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared from the dock. Looking around, Sly quickly spotted him leaping across rooftops in the distance, all while letting out an evil laugh that echoed across the skyline.

_Show off. _

Okay, so they weren't exactly friends, but "heated rivals" was at least a step above "bitter enemies". He could live with that.

"Oh crap, my friends!" Sly gasped. Here he was so busy pondering Le Paradox that he had completely forgotten why he had wanted to come back in the first place. "I've kept them waiting long enough," he muttered, pulling out his binocucom. "It's time to give someone a little call."

He lifted the device up to his eyes, wondering who exactly he wanted to contact on the other line. Bentley seemed the most obvious choice, but any of the Cooper Gang would do. He was almost tempted to try Carmelita, just so he could see that cute, indignant scowl of hers again.

But his hopes were soon dashed, as he found that he couldn't reach anyone at all. "Huh?...That's weird." He checked that the bincucom's batteries were still in order, tried turning if off and on, and even smacked it a few times like an old TV. Nothing worked. By all accounts, the device was fully functional and he was getting a clear signal, it just wouldn't connect to anyone. He was so desperate, he even tried to call Dimitri! Nada.

"Must be some kind of bug," he concluded. "Guess I'll just have to track down the gang the hard way. Come to think of it, that sounds _way _more fun."

Sly froze in his tracks as he heard a van pull up behind him. He turned around and had to shield his eyes as a pair of headlights shined in his face. He couldn't make out the details of the van too well because of that, but there was one thing he noticed clearly: the distinct emblem of the Cooper Clan plastered on the side.

"Well, looks like the gang found me first," he smiled to himself, waving an excited paw at the van.

"There you are, Sly! I've been looking all over for you!"

Sly froze again. The voice he heard sounding warm and welcoming, but it was not the voice of any of his friends. And yet, it did sound strangely familiar somehow.

The headlights were turned off and he could make out the van a little clearer. He could tell now that this was not the same Cooper van he and the gang were used to riding around in. It had the same basic design and color scheme, but most of the more advanced features and weapons were absent, leaving it looking like little more than a sports van for some obscure football team.

The front door opened, and suddenly any confusion he had about the van was ground to a halt. That didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Because the face that smiled so fondly at him now was a strikingly familiar one. One that he thought he would never see again.

Sly swallowed a lump that welled up in his throat. "...D-Dad?"


End file.
